LEWD LIZARD (1985) aka CHONG
D. Norman Chu
REALLY shitty bootleg
This bit of total insanity from your friends in Hong Kong is easily one of the most outrageous ideas for a movie that I have witnessed in some time. A total gross out sexploitaion horror hybrid that aims to get a retching sound out of most anyone. Anyone but those with lizard fetishes that is.
The tortured insanity that passes as plot is as follows. A young man (played by director Norman Chu) is spurned by his cute girlfriend because she has run off and married the local Mafiaso. She explains to him that she was more or less pushed into the marriage, but doesn't love his dumb ass anyway. She is much better off now. So while in a major depression our hero is hanging out on the beach and discovers dozens of tiny little lizards. No bigger than your pinky finger these guys are fast and unpredictable. So Chu scoops them up and take a whole bunch of them home. Then suddenly he is peeping on women undressing, taking showers or hanging out at the beach. Why is he doing this? I am glad you asked because I asked the same question watching this filthy movie. He is stealing the panties of unsuspecting ladies. Stopping to sniff them to make sure they are saturated with the love juices of the women he stole them from. Soon it all makes sense as he uses the panties to concoct a potion that he then injects into the lizards (for real, yet another Hong Kong horror that PETA would love) sending the reptiles into a frenzy of pussy crazed lust!
He stalks out various women that have spurned him, laughed at him or just generally pissed him off and attacks them. Pulling off there clothes in what looks to be a vicious rape. But instead he just dumps a beaker of the lizards onto the ladies and presto! They crawl into the women's underwear and right into the baby ovens.
Soon the ladies are writing around in pleasure as the phantom reptiles go to work. But as the women screech into ecstasy the lizards begin to eat they wear further into their supple bodies. Chu eventually meets a girl he doesn't hate (during one of the earlier scenes he screams out "I HATE ALL WOMEN"!) and they spend a day of happy romance. But she finds a jar of his sex addict lizards and all does not end well for her. Eventually he gets around to tormenting his ex, but some soul searching may be in order.
Frankly the movie is terrible, terrible acting, writing, direction and even cinematography, But what it lacks in coherency or even talent, it makes up for with sheer audacity. I guarantee you have not seen a movie like this one before. If you have you have been sinking into some fetishes that you probably shouldn't.
Review © Andrew Copp