Sunday, November 22, 2009

Some more Exploitation Movie Ads

3 Dimensions of whoop-ass coming at you!!!

Women in Prison bills were always big draws in Dayton for some unexplained reason.

I have heard that there was some question about the MANSON documentary playing around the country do to legal troubles. But here it is on a double bill with the incredible ZODIAC KILLER.

I remember both of these films playing as midnight movies at the long gone Huber Heights Flicker Palace in the 1980's for a long, long time. But before that they played together at the Kon-Tiki as a double feature. I bet that bent some heads, especially considering the amount of chemical assistance that audiences had there.

I can't for the life of me figure out how they put together this double bill? Actually this two movies are really pretty ill at ease together with SUPER SPOOK being a very silly comedy (formerly called THE $6000 NIGGER) and THE SPOOK WHO SAT BY THE DOOR is a vicious well thought out and very serious urban drama and call to arms about the first black me to work in the CIA who comes home and trains the people in the ghetto to fight back.

From the out of their minds filmmakers who brought you the classic THE KILLING OF SATAN!

Anyone know what the title of the movie was that you had to call and get? I'm thinking it might of been THE BITCH with Joan Collins, but am not sure.

I got this one in a package of old film ad negatives I traded for. Talk about seriously old school! This is about as ghetto as these ads come. I LOVE IT.

I believe this is a Ray Dennis Steckler porno film. But truthfully I am more curious about that second feature?

The Klan Killed Their only honky friend!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Exploitation Ads A Go Go

I thought I would do something different this time and post a sampling of the old movie ads I have collected over the years. I have tons and tons of these things. If you are on FACEBOOK I made an application there where you can give friends old exploitations ads as gifts. All from my personal collections. I thought I would post a few here from time to time. If you guys like this I will continue to do it.

Linda Blair in her best role since THE EXORCIST. I remember my parents coming home from seeing this and telling me all about it. I was just a tiny bit too young to see this sleazefest, but was fascinated with the tales of bear traps, crossbows and pregnant women thrown off of bridges that I was being told of.

Another ad that fascinated me as a kid. anytime I ran across ads that had the "No One Under 17 Will Be Admitted" they caught my interest. I always wanted to know just what was so bad about these movies.

I believe this is circa 1979 or so. But I remember the NEW LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT and LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET playing as second and third run features off and on into the 80's in Dayton.

Yes, that is Alex De Rezney's taboo shattering Bodil Johenson bestiality porno documentary! Proof that it played theatrically in Dayton, Ohio in the early to mid 1970's. I can't even imagine what that 2nd feature AMAZING STUNT would have been!!!

I put this one up just for the shear weirdness factor of playing TOO HOT TO HANDLE as the third feature after CHAPTER TWO and THE CHINA SYNDROME, truly one of the more bizarre third features ever. Then on the other screen you had CENTERFOLD SPREAD and NAKED STEWARDESSES!!!

BOARDINGHOUSE, the movie that separates real cult movie fans from the tourists in my opinion. The first real feature movie to be shot on pro-somer video to be released the theaters.

This PORKY'S ad is one of my all time favorites. The hard sell from "regular folks" is hysterical especially the last lady claiming she would take her 14 year old son to this extremely raunchy, very R rated sex comedy.

Canada's very controversial anti-sex, anti-pornography, anti-men, feminist documentary that attacks the porno world played the Dayton Grindhouse The Kon Tiki in an exclusive engagement. How do you like the USA artwork that makes it pretty much look like a porn film?

Yep the PRETTY PEACHES goddess herself came through Dayton back in the day.

Zebedy Colt's Mentally handicapped horror/splatter porn played the Skyborn Drive in. But Ladies were FREE when escorted!!! I bet they LOVED the movie!

Text and Reviews © Andy Copp

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Lemme outta here! I'm TRAPPED!!!

TRAPPED (1982)
D. William Fruet
Code Red DVD
1.77 Anamorphic

This backwoods liberal college boy learns the true meaning of violence pot boiler really came out of left field and hit me between the eyes. I had never heard of it before and truthfully bought it blind solely on the strength of trying to support the efforts of CODE RED. Though it does star Henry Silva so that was a big plus in the movie's favor, but I honestly had no clue what to expect from this movie at all. The trailer which was on several other CODE RED releases sold the movie hard though as a balls out, backwoods massacre action film with some real bite. The movie on hand does not fail to deliver on that promise.

I'm Henry Silva host of "Bullshit or Not" and today I will be torturing and killing cityfolk!

Perpetual badass Henry Silva gets a lead role here as Henry Chatwill the head crazy in a small backwoods mountain town in rural Tennessee. The kind of town where there are about five houses, one store, no cars and everyone is probably related in some way or another. The movie opens with Henry in the hills putting the moves on a huge breasted teenage girl, that unbeknowst to him, two teenage boys are watching. When he discovers this he sets about trying to kill them. When he chases them back to town he discovers that his equally young and gorgeous wife Amy (Danone Camdon) is fucking a dude from the city while he was away. He goes absolutely apeshit, dragging the man into the center of town, beating the shit out of him and his wife and eventually taking the man hostage after shooting the tires out of his car. This is when we learn that Henry is the "law" of the town and that this man has broken the law. Henry makes it sound as if this man has raped his wife, when it is clear to everyone he has not. But the town elders, all the men folk in the town, are not cool with an outsider coming into town and making it with the lone hot to trot chick, so they go along with it. They all decide this dude must pay for his crime and set about tormenting and torturing him, including a brutal tar and feathering with boiling tar and a hunt into the woods.

Just a little hill folk hospitality in action.

Meanwhile a group of very liberal college students have decided to go hiking into the caves that surround this area. The lead of the group Roger Michaels (Nicholas Campbell) is severely anti-violence. So much that when we have met him he is in a deep debate with his philosophy teacher about how it is NEVER right to kill another man, even when pushed to the absolute limits. So right then and there we know he is going to be be pushed to the absolute limits and find out just how far someone can be pushed towards violence. In the 70's and 80's there was a whole sort of sub-genre of exploitation film that was basically the "liberal learns what it is like to kill" plot. Everything from DEATH WISH to all kinds of rape/revenge films fit the bill. This movie fits neatly into the framework, but also fills out on several other levels as well. But this group of fairly likable twenty somethings are our liberal heroes for the movie. On the other side of that fence in the mountain town we get Henry's sister Miriam Chatwill (Barbara Gordon in a terrific performance) who is the lone voice of reason in the town and morally opposed to the crap her brother is selling. But being that this is a man's game she is basically pushed to the side at every turn and ignored. It is only a matter of time before the kids end up meeting up with Henry and his gang of thugs, which happens to be right after they have murdered the outsider that was banging Henry's wife.

Rule #1: Never, ever have an affair with Henry Silva's wife and think you will get away unscathed.

From here it becomes a very tense suspense movie as the stakes rise and rise. Clearly Henry wants to kill the kids because they know what is going on. He is using his status in the town as a reasoning for it. The townsfolk are starting to turn on him though, as they see no real reason to kill these kids as they had nothing to do with what happened earlier and are starting to suspect that perhaps Henry has killed some folks previously over some frivolous shit too. When Miriam's boyfriend finally steps up and tries to free the kids (Right as Henry's right hand man is arriving to rape one of them) he is caught and brutally killed setting the whole town on edge and putting in motion a true battle of wills.

Take a large helping of backwoods action such as GATOR BAIT and weld it to the revenge type Liberal baiting genre mentioned earlier and you get close to what this movie is. But what makes it so damn good are two things. One is that the script is surprisingly well oiled and effective. The characters are far more clearly drawn than this type of film usually is given. The kids, though occasionally a little grating, are more or less likable, and are not the cookie cutter, out to get laid and high norm of the era. But the townsfolk are are pretty much full blown characters that seem to be really the kind of people you would encounter in a place like this. Not the caricatures that we often see in the wake of DELIVERANCE, but real life hill folk who simply live a different existence. Unfortunately that place is under the thumb of a psychotic tyrant. The second thing that makes this sing is the performance of that psychotic tyrant by Henry Silva, who is always a delight to watch in anything he does. But here he is allowed to go completely free and doesn't just chew the scenery, he rips into it with his teeth and tears it to fucking shreds in every scene he is in. He cuts one of the most memorable villain characters of that exploitation era, so when he gets his comeuppance it is very satisfying.

Rule #2: No matter how hot that blond little hill tart is, no matter what she tells you. Her husband WILL find out and THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU!

Director Fruet did the underrated DEATH WEEKEND previously (not available on DVD) which I liked a good bit, but not nearly as much as I liked this one. His direction is sharp and focused, but never over orchestrated or showy. He's the kind of director that allows the movie that is going on to unfold in front of you, not forcing his own style into the forefront in place of what is happening. He's a story driven director, which is the direct opposite of many directors working today.

Unfortunately the DVD is basically a bare bones job, though the transfer is solid and looks fine as is the soundtrack. There is that exciting trailer and of course the reel of upcoming CODE RED releases (BRUTE CORPS and GANG WARS!!!) but nothing else on here. How awesome would it had been to snagged a Silva interview or a commentary from Fruet? I know those CODE RED guys are operating a super tight financial ship and for a title like this that is a risk to even release at all. So that any bells and whistles are probably too costly to even hope for at this point. But it still would have been great to hear what those guys thought about making this movie. But don't let me discourage you from picking this up in any way. In my opinion the quality of the movie itself makes it an essential purchase.

Reviews © Andy Copp

Who wants some REVENGE!!!!!

D. Bob Logan


Really rare straight to video "how to" tape hosted by a perky (and way too clothed) Linda Blair on how to get revenge on those who have wronged you in some way shape or form. For "entertainment purposes only" of course! So Linda, dressed like she is going to a Sunday school picnic, hosts this discussion video on how to stick it to your enemies. Or even family members who have fucked you over royally along with several "special guests" who claim to be private investigators, cops, and other specialists in the game of getting even. They all seem to be out of work, welfare line actors reading off of cue cards giving you advice that could land your sorry ass in jail if you are not careful. But some of the tricks they impart are indeed vicious enough to be amusing. As long as you understand that trying to actually pull some of this shit off also includes things like felony charges if you get caught. A little detail they completely forget to mention throughout the video.

Okay, so not a damn one of the following Linda Blair photos are going to have anything to do with the video being reviewed. I am sure this will make you very sad.

The show separated into sections involving types of revenge like using the phone, getting even using the mark's car, or what you can do if you can get into their house! Yes you read that last part right. This video actually suggests you try a little breaking and entering for some hilarious laughs to get even with the person who screwed you over! But first things first, it starts with the little things like ordering multiple pizzas or take out foods and sending them to the enemies home. The Private investigator suggests you go to a hotel and steal some stationary and write a note explaining that on a certain date the mark checked in with his "wife" and she left a shoe there and they are sending it back, expecting to be reimbursed for the postage. Then actually mail with the note a sexy high heeled shoe you have bought from a Goodwill store. The trick is to make sure you have specified an evening you know the mark was not at home and address the package to his wife so she reads it. Viola! You've ended his marriage because she thinks he is cheating on her! Linda Blair gets a big kick out of how that has ruined some poor schmuck's life!

Why was there never a Linda Blair Workout Video? that was the rage in the 80's and even Traci lords did one! I certainly would have watched it!

We also get a couple of re-enactments. We meet some super dorky schmo who had a dickhead assault him in a restaurant because he wanted the window seat. Dumping the nerd's food in his lap. So this guy went to our revenge smart Private Investigator to learn how to get even. They set it up so the asshat first gets fifteen different take out places coming to his home with food he didn't order at once. Then during that confusion they plant a realistic toy gun in his beat up pick up truck (who would have guessed he was a good ol boy? But then shouldn't he have already had a gun in there?) and then called the cops reporting that he was seen near the site of a bank robbery that happened earlier that day and he had a gun in his truck! So he was arrested and taken in by the fuzz! Naturally he was let go when it was seen to be all a mistake but the embarrassment and hassle made it all okay for our hero.

If the creators of the "How To Get Revenge" video had any brains at all they would have had Linda wear this outfit for the shoot instead.

Another gal goes to the P.I. because her jerk off college jock boyfriend was cheating on her with a cheerleader. The P.I. was so touched by her sob story (because she looked just like his daughter! Her big titties had NOTHING to do with it!) that they schemed up a dirty little plan that carried over to ruining this bitch's life. Not only at this college but for several others too. Our gal went to the free clinic to get checked out and stole a whole pad of stationary. She used it to write up a summary explaining that the cheerleader girl had sexual relations with basically the whole football team. Problem being that she had many sexually transmitted diseases including syphilis and that it was their duty as the sexual disease center to alert the college health department so they could alert her former partners. Within a week she was a pariah at the school and everyone thought she was a disease carrying whore. she dropped out of school and went to another school and this girl sent the same letter, just with names changed, to that school too. Thus ruining her life there too! Just because this gal fucked her man. Oh yeah, she made sure her man was left out of the revenge, cause it wasn't his fault!!! Once again Linda Blair laughs in stunned shock and awe at the appropriateness of the lives laid bare.

The rest of the show is just instructions on how to do certain gags. Most of them simple like calling in instructions to get people fired from jobs, or make their spouses think they are cheating on them. Most of these are irrelevant now because of caller I.D. and star 69 technologies. But back in the day they were hot stuff. There is some fun stuff about screwing with people's mail, also HIGHLY illegal, that includes putting them on all kinds of mailing lists so they are inundated with junk mail. Putting them on porno lists so they get all kinds of nasty porn they will be embarrassed by or fuck up their marriage. Or the best, put ads in porno mags, especially gay ones, with their pictures. The most brutal revenge schemes in here at the ones dealing with fucking up peoples cars. These are all pretty legit and would work, and are not surprisingly, very illegal. They range from letting the air out of all four tires to putting sugar and sand in the fuel tank and radiator. The most fun one was to put cooking oil in the windshield wiper fluid tank and replacing the fuel cap with a locking one so when they go to get gas they can't get into it anymore. Then there is the old stuffing a potato into the exhaust pipe so it backfires. But wouldn't that cause carbon monoxide to build up inside the car and potentially kill the person inside if they sat there long enough?

Finally there is the section on messing with the mark's home. This is felony business here folks, but they show you anyway. This goes from putting a water hose in the mail slot, glue in the locks to putting fish eggs in the air conditioner unit so their house stinks up. Then the dummies suggest if you can "get inside the house" that you turn up their thermostat all the way and glue it in place so when they get home their house is like an oven. Or maybe it is on fire! Did you idiots think of that? Or get into their refrigerator and stuff it full of their dirty laundry. Or put all their expensive china in the dishwasher and put a pouch of black dye in there and turn it on! "Use your imagination folks" is the command of the day? Well, you'll have to use your imagination when you are fending off the gigantic, horny, felons intent on throat raping you after you've been sent to prison for trying some of this shit. I guarantee Linda Blair will not be there via satellite cracking jokes and thinking its funny. Well then again she's not working much these days, so maybe she will...

Jesus, god this is a wrong headed mess of a video. While it is amusing and some of the stuff funny I cannot believe it was floating around out there for legit sale. This is the kind of thing you would have seen for sale in the Lampoonics catalogue or in the underground, traded amongst militant survivalist groups. Sorta like the home made James Bond booklets that explained to you how to kill people in their sleep with tennis balls and playing cards. Something that passed hands secretly and in the stealth of night, not at the local Major video or Blockbusters and hosted by an on the decline starlet looking for cash.

I mentioned before that these photos of Linda Blair had nothing to do with the video being reviewed right?

Speaking of Linda Blair hosting this, if you spent the money to get her to do this gig, at least you could have gotten her to show some cleavage for fucks sake! Having her dressed like a school marm from LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE was a terrible idea and a waste of her best assets. Linda was at her healthiest peak in 1989 and lets face it, the material she was given was doing her no favors in the acting department. So all she had to work with was looking foxy, and the costuming dept fell down on that job. Though to be fair she seems to be enjoying the malicious, mean spirited, nature of the whole gig, laughing and guffawing at the low down, dirty tricks on display. So when she is mean to you at a convention next time you see her, don't let her know were your car is parked. She might have some shit planned for your ass.

There were no clips of this on you tube (big surprise) so here is a pretty terrible interview from the early eighties (posted by who you should pay a visit to if you get the chance by the way).

And here she is walking on BROKEN GLASS (oh NOES!!!) on the no sadly defunct CIRCUS OF THE NETWORK STARS on CBS circa the early 80's ENJOY!

Reviews © Andy Copp

Friday, November 6, 2009

Day # 28 Pt 2: Cough, sputter, PUKE, Wait let me touch myself!

ReGOREgitated SACRIFICE (2007)
D. Lucifer Valentine
Kingdom of Hell Productions

This sequel to the underground sickie SLAUGHTERED VOMIT DOLLS goes out of its way to up the ante on the violence, gore and all around bad taste in every single way possible. There is certainly a case of one upmanship in the gore underground in who can make the most repellent and disgusting movie and Lucifer Valentine is clearly going for the gold here. The thing is that the guy clearly has a specific and unique vision that is unlike any other underground filmmaker out there, even if some of his material is a little too familiar at times. It is this technique that sets what he is doing apart and makes this film interesting, especially when it simply devolves into a fetish spectacle of puke, piss and prurience.

Ameara Lavey stars as the put upon porn star telling her tortured story.

The sort of story is almost impossible to decipher without having read some material before hand, or seen the first film. Ameara Lavey plays a young porn store who is holed up in a hotel room on a drug fueled suicide jag. Apparently this is meant to represent the final days of Kurt Cobain or at least be heavily inspired by them (late in the movie actual footage from outside his house is shown, with a bit of writing on the fence there serving as a major piece of the movie). She recants memories, confessions, and disappointments.

Siamese Twins get separated, the hard way.

Concurrently there is a "story" about two porno twins and a cameraman (who is shooting this entire movie and we never actually see) that are going around conning women into sexual congress, getting them drunk, forcing things into their mouths until they puke violently over and over, abuse them all night and then violently mutilate and kill them. We meet these twins as they are actually Siamese twins attached at the head and the "Cameraman" separates them with a butcher knife. Later they seem completely healed and normal and begin these vile attacks.

But look and feel much, much better after the "operation".

The women they attack are usually on board sexually until during or after the violent puking and it becomes clear that it is leading to a brutal ending. Between these interludes we sometimes "meet" these women as they talk openly to the camera about being a whore, stripper or teenage porn star and their rather unsettling experiences doing those jobs. Almost as if the road traveled has led them to this fate. Eventually another man appears without explanation into the proceedings while the twins are gutting a naked woman and forcing her to gag on her own entrails until she regurgitates continuously.

Forced to puke and choke on her own entrails. How lovely.

This dude, painted up like one of the Insane Clown Posse is apparently the Puke Master as the vomit quotient raises ten fold with his entry into the movie. He just fuckin pukes on everything. Continuously. His purpose in the movie is to puke and later, to maul and desecrate a severed head (that he eventually pukes into). Several of the girls are forced to pledge their allegiance to Satan before they expire.

The Puke Master applying his trade. Somewhere a Carnival is crying.

The movie climaxes, if you will, after several really intense murders, with Lavey looking absolutely beautiful (the rest of the movie she has looked strung out, pimple ridden, tear streaked and pitiful) as she reads the essays left on Kurt Cobain's fence outside his mansion.

Ameara is FINALLY allowed to look good! It doesn't last long though.

Then the Camera Man makes her fellate him as he throat fucks her until she vomits. Then his clearly fake cock starts to come blood - fountains of it - covering her naked body in some sort of baptism. The end.

Ejaculating blood is good times for all!

Stylistically this movie is a triumph. Valentine takes what is clearly a shoestring budget and stretches to the breaking point. His editing is breakneck -literally thousands of cuts - with dozens within any given moment. This guy must have shot so much footage it cannot even be fathomed. The Whitehouse inspired industrial drone/noise soundtrack is disconcerting as all get out too. The hyper-editing and soundtrack alone make this something that get under your skin from the get go. The content wouldn't even have to be startling and aggressive the way it is put together. The shot choices and images are very often incredibly striking and powerful. The first shot of the Siamese Twins for example with them appearing at a distance, just a little out of focus, among the trees, is haunting.

Several of the murder scenes are among the most brutal and harrowing I have ever seen in a movie. About midway there is a scene where the camera man murders a hooker and forces her to pledge her soul to the devil. Shot with the camera scooting around about two feet, almost randomly, which coincides with an ear piercing scream and white noise on the soundtrack. The whole time she is begging, pleading and being forced to obey. By the time she is finally mauled and mutilated (which isn't even entirely on screen) it is among the most disconcerting things I've ever had the displeasure to witness. Powerful? Yes. Would I watch it again? I'm not sure I would.

The aftermath of one of the most harrowing and brutal murder scenes I have ever seen in a movie.

Which brings me to several topics of concern with the movie. Several moments in the film when the girls are talking openly, or Lavey is breathlessly confessing her past, feel a lot like voyeurism into real people's lives. Which I am sure is the intended effect. But part of me cannot help but to wonder if there isn't some serious exploitation going on of these girls who think they are going to be in some gooey horror movie and end up bearing their darkest secrets in a freakshow, underground assault piece that makes them look really bad, before stripping them bare and forcing them to puke relentlessly? I mean, I'm sure they knew what they were in for to a degree, but were they aware how much of their personality would end up on film? Or am I just barking up the wrong tree and being fooled by really good acting? Also there are several moments in the movie where the "acting" goes too far and crosses the line into what looks to be real assault. For example the twins are roughing up this black girl and forcing her to puke and beating on her with what looks like an answering machine. They are clearly hitting her in the head FOR REAL over and over, but the girl is being held down and being forced to puke so how can she protest? Earlier in the movie the same twins are abusing the stripper whom they have gotten drunk and scratching her with their nails, once again it appears to be all for real. As the welts all appear on her body as they really scratch the shit out of her. She is clearly REALLY drunk off her ass and really pukes up what she has been drinking up to that point. Where is the line crossed here? It is not up to me to be the morality police or anything, but watching this made me feel extremely dirty and wrong. Much more than all the porn, puking and Satanism stuff.

Which leads to the biggest complaint with the movie by far. For all the artistic integrity the movie displays, and there is a lot, it still devolves endlessly into a fetish movie for the director who clearly has a thing for vomiting and piss. The girls and forced to vomit over and over and most of them are forced to piss on camera as well. One even drinks her own pee for no real reason at all other than to do it on camera. By the end of the movie the whole thing becomes one endless jack off fantasy for the demented, mixed with tons of gore. Which distresses me to think there are probably people out there willing to jack off to that too. Thank god no one was shitting on people in this movie, the ONE thing that isn't explored here.

This movie was only available as a DVD-R that cost $50(!) directly from the filmmaker (and through Xploited cinema, who are now unfortunately gone) in a limited edition. Unearthed Films has picked this up as well as the first movie. Getting this into any kind of stores ought to be a challenge for them. I'd imagine there is a limited audience for Vomit Gore. But then again I've been wrong before.

This official trailer makes more sense and tells more "story" than the actual movie does. The plot points in this trailer are not clearly apparent in the actual movie.

Reviews © Andy Copp

Day #28 We live and DIE at the Drive-in!!!

D. Stu Segall

Chilling Classics 50 Pack
Full Frame

The IMDB lists this movie as coming out in 1977 but man it feels like it was made way earlier as this has a real H.G. Lewis vibe. People at a drive-in theater are being killed by a sword wielding madman. Usually lovers (who oddly enough almost never are getting naked and the women seem to always have just announced they are pregnant!) who make the mistake of sticking their head out of the care a little too far, and WHAM they lose their heads. Two bumbling, kinda overweight cops are put on the case (well actually they appear to be the ONLY cops that actually work in all of L.A.) and start investigating the Drive-in. They meet the quirky, perpetually pissed off manager Austin (Newten Naushaus, something tells me that is not this guy's real name!) who wont let them get a word in edgewise between his rage fueled rants. With his loud polyester suits, shiny chrome dome and neatly trimmed beard he is a crazy looking motherfucker anyway, but when he starts ranting and raving about how he never leavers the theater, how he can get out of the projection booth and has to do all the work himself, he has a gleam in his eye of a man truly bonkers. When the retarded grounds keeper named, appropriately enough, Germy (Douglas Gudbye) Austin really looses his shit.

Here he is folks. The BIGGEST ASSHOLE in all of exploitation film history!

He HATES Germy like the Nazis hate the Jews! Seems they both used to work at the owner's Carnival until he closed it down and turned it into the Drive-in. Germy is so simple he is just glad to have a job, though he misses his geek and sword swallowing days. Austin is still pissed off cause he never quite mastered the sword swallowing gags (But ya kinda wonder if he was doing some other sword swallowing behind closed doors if ya catch my meaning, and I think you do! Oh wait he don't have TIME for stuff like that! He has to do freakin EVERYTHING at this place!). Germy helps the cops peg a peeping tom in the lot who might be the killer so they dress up as a husband and wife to try to spot if he is killing folks, which leads to crazy jokes and some hapless head rolling gore.

These cops are as clueless as Germy here.


Eventually Germy has enough of Austin and his nasty spiteful shit and corners him in the projection booth. At the same moment the rather dull cops realize that Austin "Doesn't have to stay in the projection booth all the time, he can leave during the reels!" in one of the most insightful detective moments of these bumblers lives. They rush there to see a silhouette of Austin being gored on the big screen. The ONLY time we actually see the screen I might add! This takes place at the drive-in but we never see the screen or what is playing! But when the doofus cops enter the room they discover both of those crazy cats dead and an on screen legend tells us the killer got away and is in the theater RIGHT NOW! Bwah ha ha ha!!! You gotta love those seventies open ended finales.

He wont be starring in the THROAT GAGGERS porn series any time soon.

This movie was obviously made for about twelve bucks with an eye to capitalize on the success of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE which was heating up drive-in screens all over the US. The gore is plentiful, the dialogue pitiful, and the production design non existent. Most of the direction consists of sitting the camera down and letting it roll, ala the H.G. Lewis approach.

The movie was co-written by George "Buck" Flower who was an exploitation stalwart in the 70's and he gives himself a juice role midway through as the cops think they have found their man in a warehouse. This psycho has a teenage girl hostage and is planning to cut her up with a machete.
The movie turns into a whole different film for about ten minutes, but the scene pays off with an incredible revelation and bit of dialogue that is worth waiting for.

She learned the hard way that they were playing DEEP THROAT.

This is seriously fun trash for the seventies lover in all of us.Not on any legit DVD as of right now, but tons of those multi-packs have it sourced from the long out of print Magnum VHS.

Reviews © Andy Copp

Day #27 All hail the Malformed MEN!!!

D. Teruo Ishii

Synapse Ent.

This surreal, sometimes hard to penetrate, dramatic horror tale was banned for many years in Japan. One of the only films to ever get that nod on the big island. so for this movie to have finally gotten it's DVD release was a very special treat to cult film enthusiasts all over the world. I snapped up my copy from Gerry and Don at the Synapse table at Cinema Wasteland as soon as it was available and sat down that very week to watch it. But then within five minutes fell asleep and never got back to it until now. No fault of the movie mind you, I just get easily distracted sometimes and that week was one such time. But I am glad I finally got back around to it, because as I had long suspected MALFORMED MEN is a little gem.

The very complicated story revolves around Hirosuke Hitomi (played by Teruo Yoshida) who awakens to find himself in the loony bin one morning inexplicably. But this is one strange Mental ward where all the women seem to be on drugs and naked. The guards use whips and cat o nine tails to get the all female inmates back into cells, and one angry bald man sits in a corner scowling at him as if he wants to kill him. As night falls Hirosuke is drugged and awakens to the bald man on top of him trying to do just that. But he overpowers that chump and kills him, managing to escape the mysteriously unguarded facility. Once outside he recognizes a lullaby being sang by a teenage girl as one from his dreams and talks to her. After she smacks him(!) they make friends and realize they are both orphans and remember the tune from their childhood. But before much more info beside a memory from the seashore can be revealed someone plants a knife into her and Hirosuke is blamed and on the run.

Along the way he discovers a wealthy business man named (also played by Genzaburô Komoda KomodaTeruo Yoshida) has died. Weird thing is that they are identical, right down to the weird engraved scar on the bottom of their foot. So Hirosuke pretends he is the resurrected corpse of Genzaburô Komoda and ingrains himself into his household in an attempt to solve the mystery of his blank past, as it seems it is deeply intertwined. What he discovers is that Genzaburô Komoda was a sex machine, fucking both his wife and one of the maids, so Hirosuke has his hands full. But there is also someone stalking the household and a group of mutant weirdos playing home invasion that look a lot like Japanese versions of the kid from DELIVERANCE. This is only the first half of the movie!!!

In the second half Hirosuke manages to get to the island where Genzaburô Komoda's Father has isolated himself for the entirety of his son's life. Here he discovers that this man has created a disturbing utopia filled with naked women being used as slaves, furniture and pretty much anything else. Also populating the island are hundreds of mutant and deformed people, many that seemed to be surgically grafted and created. For example women that are surgically grafted to the ass end of a horse. It turns out that Father was spurned by his beautiful wife because of his own natural deformities and went more than a little crazy. So he spirited her away to this island and held her captive for her sins. While he punished her, he got busy creating his own "master race" of "malformed men" that would eventually go devour and mate with the normal society thus seeking revenge for anyone who was ever different. He wants Hirosuke to do more adventurous surgeries since he is a surgeon and the secret of his past is of course tightly woven with this island.

This is really just scratching the surface of this deeply twisted movie. Based on the works of famed Japanese author Edogawa Rampo who is considered the greatest horror writer of Japan. Apparently this is an amalgamation of many of his stories, which explains the car crash style of the narrative which throws in everything including the kitchen sink. By the time the movie gets to the incest driven fuck it all climax, your jaw will be on the floor. But oddly enough, it is all rather tragic and surprisingly touching. For all the deformity, blood, skin and bad taste, the final couple of images and lines of dialogue illicit a lot of humanity and heart through all the chaos. There is a message about the human condition hiding in this madness, something about forgiveness, accepting people for who they are and their ability to love, not their outward appearance.

But as a cult/exploitation movie viewer it is the crazy imagery that will stun you, and this movie is chocked full of it. Lazy and jaded viewers on the IMDB called this boring. While there are slow parts of the movie, there is more than enough involving madness to pull you through the quieter scenes. The early scenes in the mental institution are quite the opening grabber (if you look ever so closely one of the woman has a close up of her breasts and a bead of milk can be seen dripping from her nipple). The flashback (and later shown as part of the narrative) of the Father crawling out of the sea side rocks towards the camera in all his madness is simply incredible. The Mother eating the crabs that have in turn ate her lover. The kidnapping psycho warden in full drag torturing a busty young lady just for fun. The lazy boat ride up river where we first see the inhabitants of the island, consisting of nude women painted silver and gold, wrapped in bandages, bolted and belted to poles, boats and sewn to animals. All of them dancing, swimming and crawling in an inhuman manner. These are all stunning moments in a film full of them. All the denizens of the island were played by Butoh dancers which enabled them to move like no other humans on the planet could. A technique that direct Teruo Ishii would use throughout his career.

Then there are the malformed men themselves, some achieved with just crusty make up, others with more explicit prosthetics, some just contortionists. Some of them just look like blobs of human flesh lying in cages, while others are elderly people with mesh covering their faces being fed by tubes. One guy in the background has elephantitis of the scrotum, but it is seen to fast that I doubt most people notice it.

It is these scenes that in fact relegated the film to the status of being banned. For many years after World War Two deformities were a touchy subject in Japanese culture thanks to the dropping of the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The damage caused by those left many people, for several generations, damaged physically. It was considered extremely poor taste to show those kinds of deformities in entertainment or art after that for a long time. Even if Teruo Ishii was perhaps trying to make some commentary on that very thing with the film. The movie was banned for several decades only showing up in late night revival screenings and film festivals until this DVD.

Which is gorgeous by the way. The widescreen photography is breathtaking and looks fabulous. It always amazes me to look at genre films from other countries around the same time frame to see that many of them look lower budgeted and sometimes cheap (the Italians were doing well at this point though). But Japanese films, always look incredible. There is photography and imagery in this film that is simply impossible to dismiss. This DVD allows Asian cult cinema fans and exploitation fans in general to finally fill that gap in their education. An essential purchase.

Reviews © Andy Copp