ZOMBIE BABIES (2012)
D. EMMON HARDIMAN
D. EMMON HARDIMAN
ALTERNATIVE CINEMA
Shot On Video
I really try to not do bad reviews just
for the sake of writing shitty reviews. I also tend to shy away from
filmmakers working on the same budget level I have just because I
don't want to be a dick to people. But sometimes shit just happens
and you end up watching something like ZOMBIE BABIES.
This ultra low budget flick is about a
couple of redneck idiots who decide to open a makeshift abortion
clinic/slash vacation getaway. A group of inane dudes all with very
pregnant girlfriends arrive and most of them get on screen coat
hanger abortions. But the problem is the rednecks also have a moonshine still
in the basement filled with radioactive slop that brings the fetuses
back to life.
Never mind the fact this movie was
already made as THE SUCKLING in the late 80's or a big plot device is
lifted wholesale from REDNECK ZOMBIES. This movie fails on almost all
the levels it sets out to attempt. I'm not even gonna rag on the out
of focus photography, inconsistent sound and special effects where
you can see the puppeteers as much as the rest of the cast. I'd let
all that shit go if it was actually funny or scary or just irreverent
enough to recommend. But it is none of those things. The dialogue,
being performed largely by non actors, is endless and painful. The
humor consists of many variants of shit being expelled onto people,
and lots of sex humor that just ultimately degrades the actors and
finally the audience for watching it.
I am struggling to find something
positive to say, so Ruby Larocca is good as usual as is Kaylee
Williams who really should choose her projects a little more in line
with her talent. Shawn C. Phillips is once again on hand playing a
big fat guy; sweating, exposing himself and just basically being
degraded. The dude is a funny guy, I just wish he would stop letting
directors make fun of him on screen.
There is a very weird pre-natal sexual
vibe, running through the movie with one Zombie Baby getting his
asshole licked until he shits on the dude doing it, and Ruby almost
swallowing a severed baby dick that comes all over her face when she
pulls it out of her mouth. The scenes are clearly aiming to be
shocking, but just come off as unpleasant and a more than a bit unsavory.
Just when you think the movie is
feeling like it has been on for hours and hours, they clearly run
out of money when one scene cuts to comic book art to fill in the
action and it mercifully ends on what should be a shock ending, but
happens so fast it is meaningless.
To say I can't recommend this is an
understatement.
Review © Andy Copp
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