The future still kind of sucks...

CLASS OF 1999 (1989)
D. MARK LESTER
Artisan
Full Frame (Park of the Lions Gate Horror 8 movie Multi-pack)


Quite of a few years after the success of CLASS OF 1984 director Mark Lester went back to high school to make this much more science-fiction tinged psuedo sequel. Taking a lot of ques from the then recent hits ROBOCOP and THE TERMINATOR, lester ramps up the action and special effects to create a goofy, but very satisfying afternoon time waster. 

The film opens in the title year (that seemed far off in 1989); youth gangs have run rampant in society. With violence so bad that whole pieces of the cities have been related to "no-reply zones" by the cops, leaving the gangs to rule as they see fit. But one high school is trying to not take it lying down and team up with government corporation to use "experimental" teachers (John Vernon, Patrick Kilpatric, and Pam Grier). Actually combat mode androids that are more bloodthirsty than the kids they are fighting. Our hero Cody, played by Bradley Gregg is a kid just getter of of jail and trying to go back to school. But his friends in the gang all consider him a sell out, the rival gang want to kill him, his little brother is joining the gang and best friend is a junked up dope addict looking for a bad way out. He has also fallen for the pretty daughter (Traci Lind who later dropped the "D" from her name to be just Traci Lin) of the principal (Maclom Macdowell). But all of that will become back burner material when he runs afoul of the Teaching Droids who have started their own very violent programming.

The movie is primarily an action flick with several well mounted shootouts, fist fights, car crash and the F/X heavy finale where the androids dispose of their limbs to have heavy artillery hiding within. The finale has these heavily armed robots fighting the teenage gangs on motorcycles in the hall of the school.  Their is some impressive explosions, motorcycle stunts and some really splashy gore including one teen who is literally torn in half.

When I saw this in the theater in the fall of 1989 I had a lot of fun with it, enjoying the stunts and grue. Watching it now, over twenty years later it is amusing how dated the film feels due to the costumes, language and special effects. It was still kind of low rent back then, but pretty impressive for the really tight budget. Now it is hard to look past Bradley Greg's Half jacket that no self respecting gay club kid would wear. Or Stacey Keach (who plays the man behind the cyborgs) and his white rat-tail buzz cut. The movie becomes a bit more campy than I am sure was intended. Though a lot of it is INTENTIONALLY campy. 

This was out as a stand alone DVD, but I never got to see that. This review is taken from the Lions Gate 8 film horror pack that also included GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE, CHUD 2, 976-EVIL 2, WAXWORK, THE UNHOLY and SLAUGHTER HIGH.

Review © Andrew Copp

STRIP MAHJONG: NAKED JAPANESE WOMEN...

STRIP MAHJONG: BATTLE ROYALE (2012)
D. Mark P. Forever ???
DANGER AFTER DARK
1.78 Anamorphic Widescreen

This piece of sexy fluff from Japan is almost criticism proof. Watching the title STRIP MAHJONG you really only want one thing, attractive girls playing the strip game, and it delivers that in abundance. The movie scores extra points by sneaking in some extra kink value along the way. But ultimately it is not too different from a nudie cutie you would have seen from H.G. Lewis or Dave Friedman many years ago. Meaning it is serviceable and fun but there is nothing really new on display.

The wisp of a plot deals with an underground broadcast of the title gameshow. They kidnap four women, all of whom have sinned in someway to make them "bad people". The ladies include a former pop star who clearly fucked her way to her position, a young wife married to a Yakuza who is holding some kinky secrets, a ruthless lawyer (also the sexiest of the group by a long shot) and finally our hero a normal young lady who got in too deep betting for online Mahjong (trying to settle a debt for her best friend). They then have to play the very complicated game and as each wins or loses cards are given that tell the players what items of clothing to lose. 

But the host of the show, a loud goofy fucktard and his S+M masked (but otherwise nearly naked) assistant get to strip the girls themselves. Which to leads to several really silly scenes of the dude pulling off bras with fishing poles of blowing them off with an exploding balloon. Though he does whip the ass of the wife until she confesses her transgressions in one of the only genuinely hot scenes of the movie. 

The first lady to lose her clothes is the sexy Lawyer. Unfortunately one of the items she loses is her glasses which was one of the things that made her so damn sexy. But she spends most of the movie topless which is A-OK too. The girls realize they are playing for more than lost clothes and the occasional grope when the lawyer is killed for losing the game. Thus upping the stakes for all of them.

They all end up losing one by one until all of them have gotten naked and had a little show of some sort. Which leads to a high stakes final round with the other co-host, a Lolita looking nymph who cheats her way through the game. 

If you want to see naked Japanese girls, a little bit of kink and a lot of flat comedy you could do much much worse than this. It is an inconsequential little flick, but diverting enough for those who know what they like. 

The DVD is extraless except for a handful of other DANGER AFTER DARK trailers. 
 
REVIEW © Andrew Copp

Analogue spookiness!

V/H/S/ (2012)
D. Adam Wingard, David Bruckner, Ti West, Glenn McQuaid, Joe Swanberg, Radio Silence

Magnolia Releasing
1.78

V/H/S/ is the hot ticket item on the horror circuit right now, with tons of advance buzz on how scary it is and how it has revitalized both the “found footage” sub-genre and anthology movies. Too bad neither statement is true. V/H/S/ works in fits and starts at best and at worst is horribly annoying and extremely hard to get through.

The idea is that eight up and coming directors all delivered a segment, which accounts for the disparity of quality. The wrap-around segment is directed by Adam Wingaurd who has done some quality work with A HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE. The story here sets the mood for why we are seeing the rest of the stories. A handful of petty criminals are out and about assaulting women and video taping it. But they discover that an old man has some specific tape that if they steal it could net them some cash. So they break into the old coot's house to discover him dead and a massive VHS tape collection they have to sift through. Spookiness abounds.

The first REAL story is called AMATEUR NIGHT and is directed by David Bruckner. Once again we are given lead characters who think that sexually abusing women is a fun night out. Here is is a group of college assholes who are partying and eventually bring some girls back to a hotel. The gyst is that they are video taping their escapades. Naturally one of the girls turns out to be more than she seems. Thankfully the monster design is really good and it goes a couple steps further than the rote premise originally suggests.

The next segment is directed by indie horror wunderkind Ti West who is most known for his quiet horror films HOUSE OF THE DEVIL and THE INNKEEPERS. Here he feels hampered by the found footage format. The piece is called SECOND HONEYMOON and follows a couple as they goof off traveling. The two only creepy moments the piece offered are things that have been done better by other filmmakers like NEIL MARSHALL and DAVID LYNCH. One scene has the couple at what appears to be the Grand Canyon and the dude momentarily vanishes over the edge. The other scene is someone grabbing their camera and video taping them while sleep, a moment done better in LOST HIGHWAY. But the final reveal is so lame and not scary that you want to throw something at the screen.

Next up is TUESDAY THE 17^th directed by Glen McQuaid and is the first glimpse that the film has something more to offer. It isn't great by any means but it at least a little more interesting and scary. The segment follows yet another croup of annoying college age idiots as they go on a camping trip. Naturally it turns out a killer whacked a bunch of people in the woods and the video camera they have brought along can see the killer. Albeit in glitchy, analogue feedback. The problem here is that the characters are unsympathetic and annoying, but the set up has a some spookiness to it and it is easily the most violent of all the segments.

Next is the best one of the bunch, directed by Joe Swanberg, he takes an interesting approach by having the entire segment shot through a computer's webcam as the characters videochat. The segment is called THE SICK THING THAT HAPPENED TO EMILY WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER and deals with how Emily is being haunted in her new apartment and her boyfriend bares witness to it as is escalates. The handling of the material is above average for this film, but what makes this segment really good is the writing. It does NOT go where you think it is going and therefore delivers some genuine tension and shocks.

Finally we have the last segment called 10/31/98 directed by Radio Silence. From the title you can gather the segment takes place on Halloween night as (yet another) group of college males are on their way to a party. But when they get there it turns out the house is abandoned except for a girl being sacrificed by some hooded figures. As they try to escape the house explodes with supernatural activity that is actually fairly frightening.

VHS Styled fan art for the film.

The last two segments are actually very good, and the third one is passable. The others are sub-par to just plain bad. When watching an anthology movie you expect one or two of the segments to be below average but this movie adds insult to injury by making it in the found footage format, so the flaws in content are highlighted by the eye straining videography and direction.

This is clearly a case of hype carrying the movie along. Worth a look for the last two segments, but it certainly is not as good as you have heard. 

Review © Andrew Copp

Why Can't These Ladies Stay Out Of Prison?

TRUE STORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL CONTINUES (1975)
D. KOYU OHARA

SYNAPSE/ IMPULSE PICTURES

2.35

This sequel to Nikkatsu's TRUE STORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL is really just more of the same. Hijinks in a woman's prison, with plenty of bare skin, some sex and a healthy dose of unpleasant violence to keep things moving. And a really funky score too.

The movie is structurally the same as its predecessor. A group of young women enter the prison, emotionally unprepared for the violence and struggle ahead of them. They are immediately sexually abused by the other inmates. But lucky for them MAYUMI is out of solitary confinement. Mayumi does not suffer fools lightly and starts several extended fights to protect the young fish in the tank. Soon we see there is more going on here than just rehabilitation. A guard takes photos as the gang sexually assault the fresh meat, a young girl wanted for shop lifting. These photos play a large role in forcing her to be sold to the Yakuza and become a prostitute. Meanwhile back inside the prison Mayumi has managed to gain some respect and through flashbacks we learn that she killed a man who raped her and her mother in a field. But will she go on a killing spree again?

Like all the Nikkatsu films this is exceedingly well made, it is no slouch of a production. But it feels unfocused and messy sometimes as the narrative switches back to her past and the sins Mayumi is responsible for. The whole rape flashback feels awkward because we are not too sure the characters we are seeing. Her mother and the guys make an appearance later in the film though.

There is plenty to recommend though, including a side plot about the transsexual inmate, or how the head guard gets another girl pregnant, leading to a violent forced miscarriage. There is a nude catfight in the baths that is sure to put a smile on the face of any sleaze fan as well.

TRUE STORY OF A WOMAN IN JAIL CONTINUES is worthwhile, but not groundbreaking like some of the other Nikkatsu titles Synapse/Impulse has released so far. The movie gets in there and is very functional, with sex scenes every five or ten minute, punctuating that with violence. It is a fun movie but not the peak of the Nikkatsu releases. 

Review © Andrew Copp

Welcome to Snowtown, next door to hell...

THE SNOWTOWN MURDERS (2011)
D. JUSTIN KURZEL

IFC

1.85

This indie drama based on the true multiple murder case in Australia that came to be known as the “Bodies in the Barrels Murders” A case where one charismatic killer led several other blue collar people to kill with him.

The film is very careful to establish mood and character long before getting to any violence. The movie more or less follows teenager Jamie (Lucas Pittaway) as he makes his way through the very disturbing stress of his day to day life. The neighborhood he lives in is a complete shithole (Shades of GUMMO abound) and his mother is doing everything she can to raise four boys, of which he is the middle kid. Within the first five minutes of the movie she has unwisely left the three youngest boys home along with her then boyfriend from across the street. He proceeds to sexually abuse all three of them (the youngest kid seems to be mentally handicapped or has some sort of autism), taking nude pictures of them (the rest of the abuse left up to our imagination thank god). Mom finds out when the local transgendered Queen Davey has heard the rumors. Naturally the police do nothing about the abuse.

Into their lives comes John Bunting (Danial Henshaw in a frightening performance) who is wooing the now single mom. He is charming, he is a good cook, and he is good with the kids. He takes a particular liking to Jamie, taking him under his wing and teaching him to stand up for himself. At first it seems like John is justifiably upset about the pedophile living across the street and takes it upon himself and Jamie to run the man out of town. But soon it is obvious that John has a much more pathological lust for violence. His raging homophobia being one element of it, he sees no difference between a pedophile and any other local gay man, and has several rants to prove it. But when Davey vanishes, leaving a voicemail claiming to have run away, everything seems to suspicious. But by this point John has ingratiated himself into the family, and has Jamie under his wing. It is only a matter of time before much more violence rears its ugly head.

Originally just titled SNOWTOWN (after the small town where the actual bodies in the barrels where found) this film is a pressure cooker mood piece, that wraps you up in the complex and unsavory characters and before you know it, you can’t get away.  It is a film where violence happens suddenly, but lingers like burnt flesh. This movie is all about characters that just exude pain and frustration, and it is that overbearing sense of ugliness that makes the movie both so powerful and so hard to watch.The movie leaves a stain on your mood that will be hard to shake for a long time afterward.

Review © Andrew Copp

Those filthy people in Serbia!!!

LIFE AND DEATH OF A PORNO GANG (2010)

D. MLADEN DJORDJEVIC
SYNAPSE FILMS
DV

LIFE AND DEATH OF A PORNO GANG is undoubtedly going to be one of those films that gets knocked around as a challenge for viewers. A movie so extreme that it practically is spitting in your face to watch it. Or so the hyperbole will go, invariably comparing it to the “other” Serbian made horror/porno/snuff movie that made everyone loose their lunches. But the big difference here is that PORNO GANG is actually a very thoughtful, albeit downbeat, film that trades on a lot of interesting characters. It is violent and gory, and extremely sexually explicit, but it is the fact that the movie bearing those traits is so damn well done that makes it memorable. 

The movie opens with film student Mark (Mihajlo Jovanovic) realizing that he is not exactly going to have his dream of making thoughtful art films, or horror movies with political overtones. He quickly is sucked into the world of porno and before he knows it a year has passed, he is now jaded beyond belief and owes money to the mafia. He blew their money trying to make a politically charged horror/porno hybrid. To get out of town he bands together a group of misfits to make a traveling porno carnival and heads into the mountains and back roads of Serbia. A few shows go ok, but they are not making money. Soon he is approached by a secretive old man who wants the gang to start shooting snuff movies. Only with people who want to die and have some money to give. The gang is reluctant at first but after a nasty gang rape, they find themselves motivated enough to kill. 

PORNO GANG takes a long hard look at how things like lack of opportunity, war, and poverty can mold one’s vision of life. The particular detail that makes the movie work is that the people they are killing are willing to go. Making the gang executioners, Dr. Kevorkians in outrageous outfits. The film is careful to outline these scenes to make both the “victims” and the “killers” sympathetic. For example there is a scene where a Soldier is brought out for them to kill and he confesses his horrific war crimes on camera. The horrors of war are what specially drove this man to end up here. But interestingly enough after they kill him they end up on a slippery slope themselves ultimately succumbing to the same depressive evil. The movie makes a strong connection between being a Soldier who carries out war crimes to the band of outcasts carrying out snuff murders. Both degrade your humanity and shatter your soul.

There is another interesting scene where they are asked to kill an old farmer. When they arrive he tells his story so we find out his grand daughter has radiation poisoning, as does his livestock from the  bombings. He wants to die on camera to get enough money to save his family. Once again war and politics have driven the characters to the ultimate degradation.

PORNO GANG treats the violence and loss of life with a straight face. The most memorable scenes are the quietest, such as after the young, cute, chubby girl has killed the soldier she disappears. They find her standing alone in the forest in the rain just trying to rid herself of what she has done. The act of killing has weight in this film. 

So LIFE AND DEATH OF A PORNO GANG is always interesting, shocking and deeply heartfelt. Approach with caution, but for those who can stomach it, this is a fine film.

The Blu-Ray release that I reviewed here comes with a goofy behind the scenes featurette, some largely unneeded deleted scenes, trailer and the most interesting a feature length documentary on the Serbian Porno world called MADE IN SERBIA. This documentary is structurally somewhat similar to PORNO GANG as it follows a filmmaker who once dated a porno star as he travels through the underbelly of the Serbian Porno world half-assedly looking for her. That is the bare thread of plot that movie has laid on it, what it really does is interview all kinds of people from that world from shop owners to film producers, all of whom think Serbian Porno is crap. 

Interesting side not for me personally: On this blog is a review for what I called THE WORST PORNO EVER MADE. I had no idea what it was when I watched it, or where it came from (you can read the review HERE) and had thankfully forgotten it. Well low and behold during MADE IN SERBIA we meet a porn director and his wife who stars in his films. And sure as shit as we go behind the scenes of one of the shoots I don’t recognize her and the outdoor location they are shooting in! Turns out that terrible porno I saw a couple years back was a classic piece of Serbian erotica! Yikes!

MADE IN SERBIA is overlong at 101 minutes but it is still pretty fascinating stuff. Getting to look at how smut is looked at and made in such a remote place is interesting, though at the end of the day everyone’s reasons for doing it all end up being the same.

The DVD version does NOT have MADE IN SERBIA on it as an extra. 

Review © Andrew Copp

The Life and Death of a Porno Gang - Red Band... by ohmygore

Naughty Twins

TWINS OF EVIL (1971)
D. JOHN HOUGH
SYNAPSE FILMS
1.66

This Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack from the fine folks at Synapse Films represents the first time this Hammer Production has seen the light of day uncut in the US, and what a sight it is fully restored. Eye popping gorgeous in full High definition this is one of those discs that horror fans have been waiting for.

The movie revolves around the village of Karnstein in the 1800's where witch burning has become a contact sport. Any woman who doesn’t tow the party line can and will be branded a witch or heretic and burned alive in the name of God. Heading the burnings is one Gustav Weil (Played by Hammer regular Peter Cushing, bringing great gravitas to the role). He leads a gang of “holy men” that are basically repressed church goers looking to find their kicks by abusing women. Into town comes Gustav's orphaned twin nieces Maria and Frieda (Playboy centerfolds Mary and Madeleine Collinson) to live with their uncle. Maria is the virginal one, while Frieda is the more outrageous and daring one. She catches the horny eye of the evil Count Karnstein (Damien Thomas) who practices Satanism and debauchery in his castle on the hill. But because he is a count and basically owns the town he is off limits to the witch hunters. Soon he has cast his spell and turned Frieda into a vampire leaving her to leave a trail of blood across the countryside, and her sister holding the blame.

The film is the third in Hammer's lesbian vampire trilogy that are all very loosely born from the novel CARMILLA. Though oddly enough no one involved in any of the films would admit to any of the lesbian overtones. Of the three films this one is actually the tamest of the three, though it is still pretty outrageous for both Hammer, and 1971. More interesting is how a majority of the movie is very anti-authority, and calls out the church in particular, and makes some very strong comments about repression. Even though the Count Karnstein is the villain of the piece, he is often portrayed is just a free willed person. For the first half of the film he is actually a preferable evil to the witch hunters. Naturally by the last reel the film comes back around to making the church the hero, but it almost feels like an after thought. The movie is truly subversive in dealing with everything up to that point. There is even some off handed discussion of incest thrown into the mix. 

The BLU RAY/DVD is jam packed with extras including a featuring length documentary on the trilogy called THE FLESH AND THE FURY X-POSING TWINS OF EVIL which is actually worth the price of the disc. Easily one of the most in depth films of these types I've seen. There is also TV Spots, trailers, an Isolated music and FX track, Deleted scenes and a fun featurette on props and effects from Hammer films.

If you are a Hammer fan, vampire fan or just like great horror films, there is no good reason to let this one get past you.

Review © Andrew Copp