MORE BRAINS: A Return to The Living Dead Documentary

MORE BRAINS: A RETURN TO THE LIVING DEAD (2011)
D. Bill Philputt.
CAV RELEASING

From the creative team behind the award winning four hour documentary NEVER SLEEP AGAIN on the NIGHTMARE ON ELM ST. series comes this in depth exploration of THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. But unlike that film this is only a look at the first film in the series. At least as far as the first movie itself is concerned. Once you get into the extras they delve into the first two sequels at length (and for my money get a little more interesting, but more on that in a moment).

So all the expected criminal minds are present from producer Tom Fox from the original screenwriter John Russo, the entire cast and lots of crew people to even Suzi Q to talk about her musical contribution. In fact the only missing contributor is obviously Dan O'Bannon because he had recently passed away (but there is a lengthy interview with him as a DVD extra) and oddly enough Tobe Hooper who had originally signed on as director by left the project before shooting began and then Dan O'Bannon signed on and totally recreated it from the ground up. Apparently there is some animosity there.

For me there wasn't a ton of new information, but then again, I have followed the film for years, through the various video and dvd incarnations AND read and re-read the CINEMAFANTASTIC article that went into major depth about the troubled production back when the movie was released. But for fans who haven't spent years reading about the film there is a lot of news here. Stuff I found of interest was finally getting to hear the controversy about the effects work from the mouths of those involved and seeing actual pictures of F/X man Bill Munns' aborted work. I couldn't believe how truly awful it was, for years I read about his dismissal from the film, but couldn't believe it could be as bad as the people involved claimed. He is interviewed here and admits it is not his best work, but the pictures tell the story and it is, well, embarrassing. I give the man props for being willing to take part in this documentary and own up to what went down.

The actors have a lot of fun stories, but oddly enough not very many people have a lot of nice things to say about Jewell Shepard, and she herself comes off pretty jaded about the production. There is also some pretty insane stories about Glu Gulager not getting along with Dan O'Bannon including him going after him with a ball bat and a big metal can. 

Not shockingly John Russo down plays the successful nature of the film in his interviews where it is clear he just doesn't get it, the humor or what they were trying to do with the movie. The mind boggles at what kind of immense piece of crap this would have ended up as if he and his buddy's would have stayed at the helm. He talks at length about how he would have opened the movie, which ended up in his raping and pillaging of the 30 Anniversary of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.

The extras include fairly in depth explorations of Part 2 and Part 3. Part 2 sounds like an abortion from the get go, from the fact that director Ken Weiderhorn who was hired because he had done a few other horror films, said on set he didn't like making horror. Though that entry had probably the best actual effects of the three it is the most uneven tone wise. It is basically a kids film, the comedy is all over the place and it seems the the set was miserable at best. The actors all talk about how they did not have a good experience being there. They also all talk about how terrible the script was.

Part 3 has a lot nicer things to be said as everyone seems to have had a much more pleasant time on that set and agree it is more unique film. Though the film was basically green lit from a farming out of ideas until they found one that stuck. Everyone involved agreed that an undead love story was a fantastic approach that took the series into a new direction.

The interview with Dan O'Bannon is bittersweet at best now that he isn't with us. But his enthusiasm is infectious and his final walk off line about loving all his fans is quite beautiful. It is a sentiment that everyone should remember about being famous.

If you are a fan of this series there is no reason you shouldn't pick this up. 

Review © Andrew Copp

Halloween Horror Challenge Oct 10: The Akwekning (2010)

THE AWAKENING (2010)
D. Vince Totenda
Blind Eye Films
DV

Boy if there ever was a bait and switch this is it. Just check the reviews on IMDB and they tell the story. We got suckered too. On Netflix streaming this has FOUR AND A HALF listed and the write up sounds like it COULD potentially be alright. So we added to the cue and watched what turned out to be the biggest piece of shit we have watched so far in the October Halloween Horror challenge this year. The four and a half star rating is clearly bogus, friends of the filmmakers jamming the star rating on Netflix (the film is also on Play Station and other streaming services so watch out for such jamming on those services too). Hey I don't blame them, I have myself have done it with movies I have out there on various places and every indie filmmaker has doesn't the same. Though I doubt any of us have gone to quite that extreme. But it doesn't change the fact that THE AWAKENING is a turkey of epic proportions.

It isn't that the story is super horrible, well it isn't good, but it isn't the worst. A group of annoying hipsters get an invite to a rave out in the middle of nowhere from some bimbo they meet in a bar. They set out to go to this expecting to find the greatest weekend long rave in history but find that a Mexican demon has possessed people and killed off everyone there, and in turn started killing off their annoying shit group of friends. Along the way they pick up an extremely cute archeology student who is studying the legends of the area so we can some insight on what is going on.

What we end up with is an endless confused mess of a movie that can't figure out if it wants to be a slapstick comedy for the first half, a ridiculous idie rock rave movie, or a road horror film. What it ends up being is a mess where nothing meshes, and most of it just comes off as laughable at best. This is the kind of movie where you sit watching it wondering if the people involved have actually seen other horror films or if this is just some sort of weird vanity project. There is a few almost workable moments in the final reel, but everything is completely telegraphed. I will say the movie is rather well edited, it does have that going for it.

Review © Andrew Copp

Halloween Horror Challenge Oct 9th: The Baby's Room (2007)

SIX FILMS TO KEEP YOU AWAKE
THE BABY'S ROOM (2007)
D. Alex De La Iglesia
Made for Spanish TV

This entry in the made for Spanish TV series that was the south of the border equivalent to our own lackluster MASTERS OF HORROR show is directed by Mexican insane man Alex De La Iglesia who brought us such amazing works as DAY OF THE BEAST and PERDITA DURANGA and this year's acclaimed THE LAST CIRCUS. Fan's coming to THE BABY'S ROOM expecting those kinds of cinematic fireworks might be a bit surprised to find that this is actually a fairly subdued, chilly affair that has more to do with a movie like THE SHINNING than the over the top work he is more identified with.

The story deals with a young couple (Played by JAVIER GUTIERREZ and LENOR WATLING)who have bought their first new home and have just had a baby. They are given a baby monitor and that night and they hear voices over it that kind of freak them out. This leads them to pick up a video monitor for the baby's room to make sure there isn't something really wrong going on. Naturally the Father at least, ends up seeing some very creepy things on that monitor such as a man in a suit sitting by his baby son's bed, and later a bloody body being dragged around the house. Unfortunately for him, his wife does not see these thing, but only him entering the room to pick up the baby while holding the knife he grabbed to confront the intruder. Which makes him look crazy. Or IS he crazy.

The story quickly becomes much more complicated, involving ghosts, looking into the future and of all things quantum theory. It is a heady stew that would be very difficult to swallow, but Iglesia keeps it all moving fast and when it gets absurd, be throws a terrific scare scene in to jolt you. By the end of the movie the jolts have become outright terror with a climax that actually works.

It is nice to see a horror movie that builds on story and actual scares, and not on trying to top itself with gory set pieces or out do other films in nihilism and brutality which is too much of the genre has become lately. This is a very fine piece of work and highly recommended. 

Review © Andrew Copp

Halloween Horror Challenge Oct 08: Psycho Sleepover

PSYCHO SLEEPOVER (2008)
D. Adam Deyoe, Eric Gosselin
TROMA
S.O.V.

This movie starts off strong with some genuinely funny banter between a guy and his girlfriend Ginny (Emilia Richeson) about how far their relationship has reached. She is all about the Eskimo kisses and he wants a blow job. There is some witty and knowing dialogue about how they are 15 and 17 years old even though the actors both clearly look to be in their late twenty’s (a nice gesture since these kinds of movies always cast people too old to be teenagers). Felicia Rose appears on TV as a newscaster mentioning a maniac killer loose in the neighborhood. Soon their argument reaches heated proportions and she leaves the room only to hear the doorbell. When she returns her dumbass boyfriend is no where to be scene but a maniac clown is at the door. A struggle ensues with some funny gags along the way that ends with her leading him to a long stair case outside. Cue a funny pratfall down those stairs and her dispatching him.

This opening is shockingly funny, with some witty dialogue, fun performances and a very knowing wink to the audience that they know what they are getting. Granted the movie is cheap looking, but it is forgivable because it seems like we are in for something fun.

Then the movie starts proper and there are signs that things may be rotten are afoot. The first sign is that the gaggle of teen girls that are her friends has one of them played by a overweight guy in drag. You can either look at this as a homage to John Waters or just an act of desperation. I'm voting for desperation. Ginny's friends invite her over for a sleepover in hopes of getting her hooked up with a nice guy since she killed her last boyfriend. Turns out her dad was killed by a serial killer too. Once Home from school the doctor from the loony bin comes by to check on her, instead trying to get into her pants. The neighborhood nerds are all excited to peep in the sleepover because they “might to get see boobs and finally get to have a boner.”

At the loony bin the Doctor brags that he is going to go get busy with Ginny at the sleepover and blabs the address. Then leaves the door unlocked to the place and all the serial killers and crazies wonder out into the streets to start killing people. They be-line to where the sleep over is. Of course the doctor was given a false address so some innocent people are killed along the way. 

The movie is tolerable, but just silly until the boyfriends show up, then it just plows into stupidsville headfirst. Pretty much from this point on out the movie is just dumb jokes that wouldn't hit if you threw them against the wall. Silly sex jokes where they are clearly not having any kind of sex, juvenile gross out antics that are annoying instead of funny. The opening that seemed aware of genre conventions seems to get tossed out the window in favor of a kitchen sink approach of any possible joke just to see if it could work. The tedium of unfunny to funny wears out its welcome. By the time you get to a moment that does work you really have stopped caring.

There is a major plot twist by the later third when it turns out the girls running the sleepover are actually psychopaths themselves who lure guys over to kill them for fun. So outside are dozens of loons trying to get in, the girls inside are crazy too. The only normal people are Ginny and the virgin Peeping Tom Nerds. It all climaxes to a huge free for all blood bath that is more tedious than fun. Though to be fair the movie finally has some nudity from no name extras who come out of nowhere to play topless psychopath extras. So finally a movie about a sleepover gives a smidgen of naked flesh.

Ultimately PSYCHO SLEEPOVER is a resounding failure, which is a shame, because it started off so strong.

The DVD includes a commentary, outtakes, deleted scenes and several behind the scenes featurettes. So have fun with that stuff!!!

Review © Andrew Copp

Halloween Horror Challenge Oct 07: RICKY 6

RICKY 6 (2000) 

D. Peter Filardi 

No Distributer 

This fairly serious attempt to make a dramatic film out of the true crime book “Say You Love Satan” is actually pretty good. It is the fourth attempt to tell the story of suburban Satanist killer Ricky Kasso falling behind Tommy Turner's 1987 WHERE EVIL DWELLS (which was never properly finished due to the drug addictions of many people involved), 1994's MY SWEET SATAN by Underground auteur Jim VanBebber which is heavily fictionalized but still the best of the bunch (and I worked on extensively as a crew person and can be seen in if you look quickly) and the 1998 film BLACK CIRCLE BOYS which is not too bad either but nose dives in the third act with a completely bogus resolution.

But for what it is worth this film seems to the the closest to the facts by all accounts. I personally have not read the book, nor am I up on the real case outside of seeing the pretty lame documentary SATAN IN THE SUBURBS so I can't comment too much on how much it keeps to reality. I can say that the feel of the film is a naturalistic one, with acting that is not over the top, and an eye toward realistic location work. The film is set in 1983 small town where there is nothing to do but get high and listen to rock music. This is where we meet our lead characters (names changed from the real ones) Ricky Cowen (Vincent Kartheiser) a high school kid with heavy emotional problems. He is being dropped off to the local teen group for drug users and troubled kids. Here he meets Tommy Portelance (Chad Christ). They don't make friends right away, but bond later at school over the fact they both like to smoke pot and both find the girl in group attractive. Soon they both are friends and sneaking off to get high. One day Ricky sneaks off to check out the girl of his dreams in the library while fucked up on angel dust and ends up spending the entire day reading witchcraft books instead and it bends his mind to Satanism. He meets the local loony Pat Pagan (an over acting Kevin Gage) in the local occult shop and soon he is dabbling in black magic, trying to raise demons and getting his friends involved in the occult. He is also pounding harder and harder drugs along the way. Soon Ricky and Tommy have decided they are full fledged satanists, with Ricky in particular buying into the life. During a bad acid trip he sees demons and then Jesus and attempts to kill himself. He claims Jesus found out he saw the light in Satan and tried to kill him. Tommy and Ricky decide to flee to California to meet Tommy's real father since he is adopted. To raise the money to start selling mescaline at inflated prices. A friend of theirs rips them off in a deal which sets the scene for the murder they end up being famous for.

For the most part the film is anything but a horror film, it is more a dark slice of teenage life with the trappings of occultism surrounding it. Anyone who grew up in the 80's will recognize the music, hair styles and jean jackets. That general malaise of being an outcast teenager in the 80's where you didn't fit in and the music of Judas Priest could easily be telling you to pick up a gun and waste some motherfuckers. But of course smoking all that angel dust could have a LOT to do with that too. RICKY 6 goes a long way to getting those details right. An early scene where Ricky is playing catch with his step father is one such scene. His Step Dad purposefully hits him with the ball and Ricky tries to run off, but the man grabs him and wrestles him to the ground yelling at him about how he wont throw a temper tantrum about every little thing. It is a power play in front of the whole family and you can easily imagine the dick doing this often. It is a scene that went down in suburbia all the time. The kind of thing that drove teens into drugs, fights and violence all their own. Still does every day. On the contrary the movie has several fantasy sequences that work in varying amounts. The first two that deal with Ricky's early paranoia and introduction to Satanism don't really work and come off forced. The meeting Jesus scene and later an effects heavy hallucination of his parents dead and demons in his home is completely off putting. But much later right after the murder he hallucinates he is walking through hell and comes up to Satan sitting up on a huge stump. This bit of fantasy is truly stunning and one of the most effective moments in the entire film. For one, the devil they have created is one of the most simple yet frightening creations I have seen in a movie. The whole scene works psychologically and as just simple scary imagery. Later there is one more hallucination where he imagines a party scene where the demons are asking him to kill himself that works well too.

But the movie is not without some major faults. The first big one is the casing of lead actor Vincent Kartheiser. His performance is actually pretty good. It is certainly shaded well, and he goes along way to make Ricky sympathetic. But the problem is that I never bought him as the kind of kid that the other kids would follow, which is what happens. He is too goofy, too wholesome. He is just the wrong guy in the part. He would have been good in the Tweasel role, the kid they ultimately kill. In fact when the movie starts I thought that was who he was supposed to be. Chad Christ as Tommy is very good and I believed him, the lead role needed someone more edgy like him in the lead. There is also some love interest that takes up the mid section of the film that is just dead weight, it goes nowhere and fills very little purpose. Finally the biggest problem is the final murder scene. It simply isn't vicious enough. Granted I am not the right person to give an unbiased review of this as I worked on another film of this story and the murder scene we worked on is widely considered among the most violent ever shot. I don't know what the real life details were but even if they are somewhere in the middle of the two films, this movie pulls back by taking the point of view of the side lined characters who are on drugs, thus being able to play it out in a surreal manner. It soft peddles the scene, confuses it at times and robs it of the final narrative punch. 

For the most part RICKY 6 is a fine film with a lot to offer. It really is too bad it isn't available to the general public. Though I can't imagine how audiences in 2000 would have reacted in the post Columbine panic. I have heard that is part of why the distributor pulled its release though I cannot find any actual proof of that. I have also read on several internet boards that the producer is in Jail for some sort of money scheme and that is why the movie is unreleased. Once again I have no hard proof of that as well, so who knows if that is fact. Third unfounded reason is that I have heard there were music rights issues as this is filled to the brim with 80's hair metal such as DIO and IRON MAIDEN and lots of others and there has been talk that not all of that music got properly cleared at some point. But that seems silly as it could have simply been replaced. None of it is integral to the film. The movie is all over torrents and grey market sites and even You tube in a really crappy version (but you kids love watching movies on the you tube anyway!) so check it out. It is worth the effort to track down. 

Review © Andrew Copp

Here is Tommy Turner's Unfinished version of the same story
WHERE EVIL DWELLS

New Synapse Blu Rays: Maniac Cop and Frankenhooker

MANIAC COP (1988)
D. BILL LUSTIG
SYNAPSE FILMS.
Blu Ray

I haven't watched the original MANIAC COP since it originally came out back in the 80's. It was a movie that frankly I remembered liking, but not loving, and I remember liking the sequel more (though to be fair I haven't seen it since it came out as well). So checking the movie out on this new Blu Ray release was almost like getting to see it again for the first time.

The first thing that struck my right off the bat was just how deliciously detailed the new transfer from Synapse is. This is easily one of the best looking HD transfers I have seen. Admittedly I'm not a journeyman when it comes to Blu Ray having only been buying them for a little over a year. But from frame one, the MANIAC COP transfer floored me with how clean and clear it was. The opening credit sequence that shows the cop putting his gear on in ultra close up behind the credits, is rife with crazy detail. You can see thing likes the peach fuzz on the Maniac Cops gloves for crying out loud!

The movie jumps quickly into the meat of the film with a barely seen police officer murdering people on the street for what seems like minor infractions or even nothing at all. Hard nosed Police detective Tom Atkins is on the case but no one on the force wants to believe him including the Chief (played by SHAFT himself Richard Roundtree). Tom Atkins figures it out pretty quickly that the perpetrator is a cop. Meanwhile Bruce Campbell is a cop who is having an affair  with another female officer, When his wife discovers his indiscretion, she runs out on him only to be killed by the Maniac Cop, clearly being set up to take the fall. From this point Bruce will have to find out who is the actual Maniac to clear his name. Meanwhile lots of people are still ending up dead, especially at the exact wrong time to have his name cleared.

Lots of things set MANIAC COP apart form the late 80's tide of crap. First off is the smart script from Larry Cohen. As per usual for him, the script takes the more insane sounding ideas and makes them sound ridiculously plausible. That is his god given gift as a screenwriter. The other big deal of MANIAC COP is the slick, serpentine direction Bill Lustig gives the whole production. While it is obviously not a huge budgeted movie, clearly there is a little bit more money here than usual, and it shows on screen with some really solid stunt work, good locations (Seems a lot was shot in L.A. doubling for New York, but I was totally fooled) and a gliding, prowling camera the best Giallo film would be proud of. Then there is the roster of B-movie actors making a payday and bring their A-game from the great Tom Adkins, to William Smith and Richard Roundtree. The only performances in the film I am not crazy about is Bruce Campbell and Laureen Landon. Campbell I have just never felt was hard edged enough to fit the material , and Landon is just not that great of an actress, she is fine as eye candy, but when called to emote, she is not cutting the mustard, especially across the table from guys like Atkins or William Smith. There isn't much bad you can say about Robert Z'Dar in the roll, he is menacing, and scary, and in the main shower scene beat down, he takes it like a man.

If you are a fan of the film, this is worth the upgrade simply for the gorgeous Hi-Def transfer which really is one of the nicest I have seen. I guess there are some extras gone missing from the old releases to this one, but hey you can't have it all. There are some good interviews with Atkins and Z'Dar, and a whole host of trailers and a bunch of cut scenes dealing with the Mayor, that while interesting are obvious why they were cut as they slow the movie way down.So all that stuff is still here and pretty worthwhile. But it is the new transfer that is the star of this disc.

Also out from SYNAPSE FILMS.

FRANKENHOOKER (1990)
D. FRANK HENENLOTTER
SYNAPSE FILMS
Blu Ray

The first film made but second released, in the two picture deal with Shapiro /Glickenhaus pictures in the late 80's (the other film of course being BASKET CASE 2, and then eventually BASKET CASE 3) this is easily Henenlotter's funniest film to date and his most accessible.  While on paper the plot sounds outrageous and slightly misogynistic, the final film is anything but. It is a super silly, almost lighthearted parody of teen romance films and the FRANKENSTEIN mythology. It is FRANKENSTEIN CREATED WOMAN meets 16 CANDLES.

Jeffrey (played by the super talented and funny James Lorinz) accidentally kills his girlfriend (played by Penthouse pet Patty Mullen) in a horrible Lawnmower accident. But instead of sitting on his laurels crying he sets out to bring her back using his limited knowledge of science and biology. But first he has to gather enough parts to put her back together after the accident. He doesn't mind if she is a little "improved" along the way. But being a pretty nice fellow he can't bring himself to just go and cold blooded kill women so he invents "Super Crack" That will blow up anyone who smokes it. Thus letting the hookers he will meet choose their own demise. Then he can take the parts home and build his own bride.

Completely silly and over the top, with funny lead performances, FRANKEHOOKER has stood the test of time more than a lot of other films from that era that tried to be funny and failed,  such as something like GIRLFRIEND FROM HELL or DEATH SPA. That plays out from Henenlotter's expert sense of the absurd. Each crazy set piece mounting to top the last, from the exploding cracked out hookers to the mutant body parts becoming their own little monsters at the end. The movie continues to surprise at each turn. Henenlotter also peppers his movies with lots of funny and cool side characters like Zeus the pimp, or the googly eyes john who gets humped to death.

Then there is Frankenhooker herself an awesome make up creation but brought to life by a lighthearted performance by Patty Mullen who keeps the character child like no matter how crazy of shit she is called on to do. She is terrific and very memorable in the part. Probably the biggest reason the movie is still hanging around to this day. That and that great old "Wanna Date" VHS packaging.

The new Blu Ray from Synapse is as good as it will ever get for FRANKENHOOKER. The old extras from the special edition DVD are carried over here, but the new HD transfer is just  gorgeous with solid beautiful colors. This movie is saturated with purples and blues, all which looked washed out and faded on the old VHS and first edition DVD's. The Special Edition DVD from Unearthed looked very nice and was a great improvement, but this new HD transfer is well worth the double dip for fans. The movie never looked this good.

So both these flicks are essentials for your Blue Ray collections!

Review © Andrew Copp

 

Halloween Horror Challenge Oct 6th Pt 2: ZOMBIE GANG BANGERS (1997)

ZOMBIE GANG BANGERS (1997)

D. Walter Webster
Salt City Ent aka Sub Rosa

S.O.V.

I think I am going to try something a little different this time and actually blog this movie AS I watch it.

Music by The Devout Sound System!!! For a solid ten minutes into the movie we get no dialogue and dancing, dancing, dancing! Looks like they snuck into a really lame club and were going to make damn sure they got the most use out of the footage as possible. On the positive side there is a fairly hot stripper pole dancing during the entire scene too. Towards the end a zombie attack happens... I think. It is so damn dark it is really hard to tell.

Later a teen kid comes home to tell his drunk ass abusive dad he was attacked by “mean ass zombies” only to get beat for his trouble. A drunk brings home a hooker to meet his infantile adult baby brother, and another couple breaks up because he catches his women on the phone with some dude, All lite with horrible harsh red light that makes the video bleed and bleed and bleed to the point that it threatens to blow your video screen right open.

Baby Huey and his old man just killed that hooker and now grumpy old man is humping her. So far there is no plot. Just disconnected random scenes. Stephanie Beaton has sat at the bar for at least the first twenty five minutes of the movie. Is this going to be her entire role? Why are there Zombies running around? They just attacked her. They have ate everyone else but they are trying to rape her? Guess this is why it is called ZOMBIE GANG BANGERS huh?

The songs sound like DIE KRUPPS. 

Oh Nice. She is talking to the cops talking about how she tried to fight off her attackers and just whipped out her tits to prove how much they hurt her. To show off her bruises! This movie is CLASSY!!! Now they just made a crack about how the economy is shot to shit because the president is a Democrat! And the cop just threatened to rape her himself and he just slapped her to put her in her place! Wow! Annnnnnd Now the cop is raping her too... All because she is a “whore” as it has been explained...

This would be offensive if it wasn't such a bottom of the barrel below public access level piece of shit.
I think a fifteen year old with sever problems with women wrote it though.

“You don't know what it's like to be raped by zombies!!!”

“You're a whore Alice, and now you are letting these slobs beat you and rape you. You need a good therapist!”

Professional dialogue. David Mammett would be proud.

Wait Kitten Natividad is now stripping. She's not young, but she's still got it. (obviously before her unfortunate bout with cancer. Still glad she beat that and is still with us though).

Holy shit, is that THOR hitting on Stephanie Beaton? Nope it isn't but it kind of looks like him.
Oh no. The Rapist Zombies are back and raping her again. And the fat Baby Heuy guy is one of them. And a Japanese Tourist is taking pictures too.

Seriously who makes a movie like this?

Hey the one Zombie has an afro...

It looks like the chunky adult baby one is fucking the hood of the car and not her actually.

Her friend Betty is a twat. Why does everyone keep telling her what a whore she is? Oh look a couple of dogs trying to hump in the street...

Hollywood is a fucked up place.

So now they have gone to the Hollywood mondo store to meet Dr. Mondo to have him make an “ass-kicking tough Zombie Ninja” to help them fight. She has gone through the litany of showing off her tits, ass and legs to convince him. Claiming that if her tits get any more bruised they will never be the same!

The Chroma levels on the tape are so bad right now do to shitty lighting that almost nothing can be seen through the pink and red blurring.

Oh shit. The ass kicking zombie is a rip off of Jim Carrey from The Mask by wearing a Jester outfit. Kill me now. Kill everyone now...

This has now turned into a complete and utter rip off of THE MASK but without the then ground breaking digital effects. For the last ten minutes we have has a cut rate Jim Carrey impersonator doing an ultra shitty impression of that character. This was more painful than anything else in the movie so far.

Now, more zombie rape.

Oh, no. It is ALL IN HER HEAD. She is in a mental hospital and she has been getting shock therapy the whole time!!! But the Doctor is a psycho too! Cue shock ending!!!

But wait the end credits list DIFFERENT a different director! Someone named Jeffrey Scott... What the fuck?

I bet SUBWAY is thrilled to be listed as catering on this movie!

Stephanie Beaton was kind of a hot property at the time this was made with those WITCHCRAFT movies and what not, why oh why make a humiliating piece of shit like this? The world may never know...

Review © Andy Copp