2009 lists come to an end

More end the line insanity from 2009 from my pal Matt Brassfield who is the manager of Game Swap in Kettering and also runs Independent B-Movie, and is the director of the infamous WEREWOLF OF OHIO. I wonder if he was overworked or dipping into the crack bowl on some of these picks, but I am not one to judge!

10 0f 2009







1.) X-Men Origins Wolverine – Now I know what your saying most the people that have been on this website have trashed this film, but I for one was highly entertained by its popcorn action. Hugh Jackman did a great job once again as Wolverine and while not as bloody as it should be it made for a solid PG-13 film.





2.) Watchmen – “Who’s watching the Watchmen?” well me and many others a smart comic book film that is packed with great acting and a great script. Love the fact it’s more of a film noir drama then a beat em up super hero flick. Very smart film.




3.) Star Trek – A good reboot to the Star Trek series, great cast who all seem to get there roles as well as a solid script. If your looking for a good big budget sci-fi flick then this is for you. Plus with Leonard Nimoy as Spock again this is a good film for all Trekkies.




4.) Terminator Salvation – This one blows part three out of the water and is high action sci-fi popcorn flick. The plot while not 100% solid does have a charm to it that tries to tie in all the other sequels. Lots of action and a tad drama make this a good summer movie. Plus the Arnold clone makes it kick ass.




5.) Trick r’ Treat – What a great horror flick that has heart and truly brings back the anthology to the horror genre that was long over do. The acting is amazing with Anna Paquin looking stunning at little red riding hood. If you haven’t seen this fun film then you should go out and pick it up.





6.) Saw 6 – A Horror film with a message about out Health care! It’s not every day you get a smart horror film that’s packed with gruesome deaths and enough blood to make a slaughterhouse look clean. Jigsaw’s game continues and I had a lot of fun viewing this one.





7.) Last House on The Left – A remake that works! While it was not a masterful film it was a nice sick twisted film filled with murder, rape and revenge. The acting was good for a Hollywood Grindhouse film and the pace of the film seemed to chug along at a good pace. Plus like this twist ending a lot!




8.) Hulk vs. – The Green Skin monster is back in this animated film that has him fighting with Thor and Wolverine in two short films. While the Wolverine one was just all right it was packed with other characters like Deadpool, Lady Deathstrike, Sabertooth and Omega Red. The vs. Thor is the better of the two and has an epic feel when the green skin goliath tangles with the god of thunder.






9.) The Hills Run Red – A nice under the radar film that is about a young man looking for a lost horror film that was said to be the most shocking over the top flicks ever made. What he finds it a one way ticket to the film that never ends, The Hills do indeed run red! Nice twisted film with a cool killer and some great gore.





10.) Inglorious Bastards – Not a fan of Tarantino’s work for the most part he’s pretty hit or miss with me but this Word War II spaghetti western was just the right mix of witty dialogue, over the top action and drama to make it one fun watch. Brad Pitt is a little silly in this one and at times his acting is down right bad, but looking at the film I think it’s meant to be that way.





11.) Sick Girl – This was a film that my pal Jerry from Synapse talked me into getting and I really liked it! It’s about a young girl who is mentally unstable and who gets her rage out by killing and torturing people in her barn. It’s a cool independent film that has heart and a solid script. If you like sick films with twisted plots then check this one out.





Films I seen in 09

Drag Me To Hell, Superman Batman Public Enemies, Tyson, Street Fighter The Legend of Chun-Li, I Love You Man, Quiet Nights of Blood And Pain, Victor Juliet’s Director Cut, Martyrs, Bride Wars, Paul Blart Mall Cop, The Unborn,
MaskHead, Underworld Rise of The Lycans, Haunting in Connecticut, Clive Barker’s Book of Blood, GI Joe The Rise of Cobra, Taintlight, Green Lantern First Flight, Jennifer’s Body, Paranormal Activity, Bruno, Jeff Hardy.. My Life My Rules, Macho Madness The Randy Savage Collection, Hulk Hogan Unleashed,
Jeff Jarrett King Of The Mountain, Matt and Bruce’s First Time


WORST


1.) Friday The 13th – A heartless piece of trash that once again Michael Bay and his team of hacks pooped out for the teen audience. It’s so lame that at times it seems as if they just did another remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and added Jason in for Leatherface! Wasted $10.75 in the theatre to see this crap.





2.) Halloween II – What was Rob Zombie thinking when he wrote this terrible film that ruined the franchise. Terrible script, some bad acting and his wife with a white horse is some of the reasons this film blew. Sad indeed for my favorite horror franchise to be treated like this. The only plus side is that it has my girl Danielle Harris in it, who I have been a fan of for a long time.





3.) Dragonball Evolution – What a bad movie with bottom of the barrel effects and a piss poor story line and no real direction. This is a Golden Turkey film that should be on MSTK 3000 if they decide to re-launch.





4.) Transformers 2 Revenge of the Fallen – A plot that is so half assed it has more holes then a chunk of Swiss Cheese. This is the prime reason people need to stop seeing Bay’s “epic” effect films that are just terrible. A soulless film with no heart, and the key reason why Platinum Dunes needs to stop screwing up 80’s cartoons.




5.) Wrong Turn 3 – Terrible! I was a fan of both part one and two, but this one seems to have had a budget they wasted cause half way through the effects look like a backyard film that a highschool student made. It had an all right story just not well put together at all, very disappointed in this one!








6.) Feast III – What the fuck was this films ending about? It’s as if the filmmakers think they made some sly joke but really all it did was piss of fans who have followed this series. It was fun and wild up till the giant fucking robot. Very lame guys next time do better!

More best of 2009 from The Nick Williams

Continuing my top ten celebration of 2009 comes the wrath of THE NICK WILLIAMS, L'Enfant Terrible of the blog Celluloid Psychosis. When Nick isn't watching Jamie Gillis administer enemas to street hookers or Dolph Lungren stomp on Asian people, he can be found writing his own disturbing brand of fiction. Here is his list of movies for the year.

TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2009:


10. FANTASTIC MR. FOX – I’m not a huge Wes Anderson follower. BOTTLE ROCKET is his only film I’ve ever completely watched, along with pieces of others here and there. Nothing against him, I just haven’t been inspired enough to peruse his oeuvre. But this foray into stop-motion animation may fuel my motivation to do so, as I found it full of wit and dynamism. I was captivated by the adeptly directed visuals, which, like most stop-motion animation (and what I’ve always loved about it), were so rife with finely rendered, extremely organic texture. The story is a boisterous fairy tale with adventure and some light comedy that had me chuckling in spots. It also has some dark tinges around its edges with some slight violence and a clever pseudo-profanity, which seemed to anger parents seeking fluffy entertainment for their offspring but were shocked and appalled by something with substance.





9. BLACK DYNAMITE – Damn the studio for burying this kick-ass parody/homage of blaxploitation film. This deserved a lot more exposure than just a handful of cities, especially considering it was picked up for relatively cheap. Not only is it a hilarious spoof but also a wild action flick. It’s also a huge treat for anybody (like me) who is a fan of the grindhouse genre this is sending up. The filmmakers clearly have some affection for it, with ingeniously utilizing not only blaxploitation’s plot conventions, but it’s technical ones as well, such as shoddy editing and effects. There are also more Rudy Ray Moore references than you count on one hand. It’s a great love letter to exploitation filmmaking, way better than Tarantino’s DEATH PROOF anyway.

BLACK DYNAMITE INVESTMENT REEL


FINAL FILM TRAILER




8. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE – Yet another film that sparked controversy amongst familial moviegoers – I think the problem parents have with movies like these is that they speak to their children rather than speak down to them. They obviously want entertainment that keeps kids docile are frustrated by anything that helps nurture a sense of intellect or identity (WALL-E was another one of these films, but got away with it by being veiled as a cutesy sci-fi flick). But I digress...while I can’t say the book is as deeply ingrained in my persona nor was I as enthralled by the movie as Andy, I do have fond memories of reading (or being read) the story as a youngin and found this adaptation to be a sincere, imaginative, heartwarming fantasy.





7. PONTYPOOL – A wholly unique and extremely intelligent take on the zombie flick that takes a springboard from Burroughs-esque themes such as the deconstruction of language and communication and the manipulation of information. Director Bruce McDonald – usually an arty filmmaker making his horror debut – puts a fresh spin on the genre by applying his sophisticated sensibilities. I was totally sucked in by the careful buildup of suspense and mystery by restraint from showing much of the horror on screen and lead Stephen McHattie’s charismatic performance.




6. LIFE IS HOT IN CRACKTOWN - Buddy Giovanazzo’s adaptation of his own short story collection is a grimy, squalid portrayal of impoverished urban life. He takes a surgical eye to a few distinct lowly characters and the paths they take, never flinching from their flaws or the misguided choices they make, but also never making any kind of moral judgment. As foul as the material is though, there’s also many moments where it has a sympathetic, even optimistic outlook about its protagonists predicaments, something which its detractors ignored and the book was short on.





5. MARTYRS – Utterly fierce and bleak, the latest in the rash of brutal French horror goes right for the throat from frame one and tightens its grip throughout the duration. But unlike most of its contemporaries it has more than just sheer cruelty and mindless torture going for it, with some thought-provoking philosophical subtext beating beneath its mutilated veneer, which I think makes it the best of this nationality’s genre output so far.






4. DISTRICT 9 – This is the kind of movie that more summer blockbusters should aspire to – a purely fun, bombastic actioner with a lot of spectacle to offer but also isn’t afraid to appeal to the audience’s brains.





3. ANTICHRIST – Beautiful, grisly, disturbing, strange, stirring, shocking, Lars von Trier’s “horror” drama is a surreal, immersing masterpiece. Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg’s performances transcend emotional boundaries. Even if you hate the film itself, you have to appreciate it for having such a bold and original vision.






2. WALTZ WITH BASHIR – This animated documentary recounting the Israeli filmmaker’s own experiences during Israel’s invasion of Lebanon during the 80’s is visually breathtaking and moving to the core, a film driven by an agenda not of politics but of a personal quest for redemption.






1. WATCHMEN – “It’s boring.” “It’s too long.” “It’s too weird.” “It’s confusing.” All these and similar comments were directed at Zack Snyder’s epic adaptation of the classic groundbreaking graphic novel. But people had also thought the same things about seminal films like 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, BLADE RUNNER, and even the big daddy of them all, CITIZEN KANE. Not to say this one is as great as those, nor might it ever share the same exalted status as them, it’s just something to think about. I personally though found every frame of WATCHMEN to be a wondrous, mystical, masterful work of art. I would say it by far has to be the greatest superhero movie ever.

WATCHMEN fan edited music video (possible spoilers)



TOP 5 WORST FILMS OF 2009:



5. MURDER COLLECTION VOLUME 1 – I have to say I hate doing this. Low-budget filmmaker Fred Vogel and his Toe Tag Pictures crew had created some truly noteworthy works of underground cinema with the AUGUST UNDERGROUND trilogy and REDSIN TOWER. But this compilation of faux snuff shorts is nothing but a simplified rehash and a complete devolution.





4. THE STEPFATHER – An overpolished, dull, vapid thriller of a remake, with about the only redeemable aspect being effortful performance, which is still weighed down by the effortless material.





3. DRAG ME TO HELL – How anybody can like this movie as much as virtually everybody does is beyond me. Just the typical irritating PG-13 bullshit that happens to have a recognizable name attached.





2. TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN – People loved the first movie and hated this one. I hated the first one and hate this one even more. But the ironic thing is everything that was wrong with this one was wrong the first, just more severe. So much mindless action that it becomes pure tedium.





1. FRIDAY THE 13TH – Lower than fecal matter. Filmmaking at its absolute nadir. That’s all I need to say .