Sunday, May 6, 2012

A Pound of Flesh for some boobs please!!!

D. Tamar Simon Hoffs
Liquid Films

This flaming piece of trash is one of the most painful films I have had to sit through in many a moons. I generally do not give totally trashing reviews of flicks, preferring to concentrate on stuff I can lead people to that they may enjoy. But I got sent this one to review and thus have a duty to follow through with it.

POUND OF FLESH is about an older college professor at an upscale ivy league school played by Malcolm McDowell (who also produced this thing) who begins to pimp his lovely but bitchy female students to the lonely male staff. Problem being that those other teachers turn out to be some mean spirited bastards whose sexual problems who abuse and kill the girls leaving him to out to dry when the very cliché ridden cops come a calling. 

 I'm pretty sure these ho's aren't in the movie. But according to the website they are.

The film opens with a particularly graphic scene of an older man, a busty young girl and a shotgun that tricks you into thinking you may be getting a sleazy little potboiler. Then the real movie begins and you realize you are getting a lazily shot, poorly acted, vanity production that has very little going for it except they could afford a name actor. The script is just a collection of clichés roped together into dialogue and boring scenes, Until finally it climaxes in a scene that feels like it is snatched out of any cop on the run flick.

But what makes it suck especially bad is the continuing voice over from McDowell that is incessant and tries to band each nonsensical scene together. Instead it just makes you want to puncture your ear drums. The voice over just reminds you that not much of anything is happening, and what little that IS happening is flat out horrible.

Easily the worst thing I have seen this year so far.

Review © Andrew Copp

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