What will you see if you transcend?

MARTYRS (2008)
D. PASCAL LAUGIER
Wild Bunch (Production Company)
1.85

Genre tongue waggers are calling this one this year's answer to INSIDE because it is French, gory as hell, and uncompromising. While I liked INSIDE to a certain degree I also think this movie is far better written than that one with a good deal more on its mind. A lot of genre critics are accusing this current wave of French horror directors of a game of gruesome one up man ship as it seems each film from the land of golden fries takes the gore and brutality up a couple of notches than the one before it. But to say that ignores that each film has had their own distinct feel and approach to the genre. All of them may be gory and aggressive, with a lot of bad attitude, but they each have different things going on as well. With that said this one may be the richest in depth and story of the group I have seen (INSIDE, FRONTIER(S) and now MARTYRS, I still need to see MALEFIQUE).

The film opens suddenly with a young just barely preteen girl running out of a building. She is in her underwear, filthy, bloody, her head shaved almost down to the scalp. She is bruised and clearly hurt and has been held captive. We can hear a commotion inside the building she is running out of, but she hits the sidewalk running for her life. During the opening credits we learn what has happened to her as we get a super 8 police file footage of the crime scene investigation. She was being held captive in a small room, chained to a wall with enough length to slightly move around. She had one chair to sit in, that had a hole cut in the center so she could use the bathroom in the bucket below it. She was not sexually abused in anyway, but was clearly beaten repeatedly, and malnourished over the extended time she was held captive. Otherwise the girl is not talking. We also see file footage of her in the mental asylum she has been taken to, where doctors and other children cannot get through to her. They eventually get out of her that her name is Lucie and she makes friends with another girl there named Anna and they bond. After the credits Anna is being asked by the hospital staff and police to help them get through to Lucie to find out if she can help them find who was holding her captive. Anna says Lucie doesn't know, that she never really saw them. Later than evening Anna finds Lucie in their room with deep slashes on her arms, and she begs Anna not to tell anyone. She claims she did not do it to herself. That night we see a very twisted, old, naked, female shape crawling around the floor of the girl's room and hovering over Lucie's bed and Lucie clearly sees it too. Cut to black.

Then we meet a nice suburban family, two teenagers, a boy and girl, fighting over a love note. Dad trying to get them to settle down while he gets ready for the day and Mom working in the garden digging a dead mouse out of a pipe. The family basically gangs up on the boy because he is failing out of school and wants to move in with his girlfriend, who no one really likes. Apparently she wants to come by later and the family isn't too hip to that idea either. It is clear this family is going to play into the movie ahead in an integral way.

To go any further with a plot description will only go into spoiler territory that should NOT be discussed when seeing this film. I went in blind and was knocked senseless and so should you. Suffice to say that it does NOT go anywhere you are expecting it to. One plot element does play out in a way you sort of expect it to, but then that almost leads you to think the rest of the film will play out a certain way, and then it just steadfastly refuses to play by the rules from that point on. In fact this is a movie that just throws the rules right out the window and makes them up anew as it goes. This is sure to piss people off and annoy the shit out of some viewers. Other viewers my become bored at some points of the film as it certainly tries your patience at times. But the film is rich with rewards for those who stick with it. There is psychological and theological meat to chew on for quite some time after the film has ended if you choose to look at it closely enough. But to discuss any of this I have to talk about some spoilers. So if you have not seen the films. QUIT READING NOW. Come back after you have seen it.


The first half of the film is relatively straight forward revenge fueled splatter with Lucie all grown up killing the people who tortured her as a kid. But Lucie herself is being tortured mentally by the woman she didn't have the heart to save when she escaped. So in fact Lucie has continued to the torture started by the cult well after she escaped from them. They instilled the psychological steps, but she continued it all these years later. The question being, if she had not escaped, would she have died or became a martyr? Anna on the other hand once she experiences her friend (that she clearly loves) dying, she symbolically starts the process of saving not only Lucie but the old woman Lucie could never save. When she discovers the woman in the basement/laboratory she doesn't hesitate to free her, care for her, take off her shackles and face mask. She does everything to free this woman from her bondage. Something she never really could do for her friend. Nor that her friend could ever do originally either. And unfortunately not for this woman ultimately.

Once the cult arrive in the movie it takes a sharp right turn. Pacing wise this is very, very jarring as the first half had been very fast, incredibly violent and visceral. Now suddenly we are thrust into this philosophically based interpersonal torture and debasement session that is repetitious to the extreme. The friends I watched it with were evenly split down the middle. Half saying it was horrifying and effective as showing how the psychological torture and breaking down of the psyche worked, the other half being bored at the repetition and not empathizing with Anna's plight. I think most American audiences are going to go with the latter half of my friends who tuned out as it is at first grueling but most audiences are going to miss the point of the repetition, or just not care. thus throwing themselves out for the rest of the movie, which is near brilliance.

The last third is even more brutal as Anna is skinned alive and left to hang. But she finally hits the point of transcendence where she crosses over into life after death without dying. (clearly modeled after the photo they show in the film from the book TEARS OF EROS) She becomes a Martyr and manages to come back and tell the old lady who runs the cult what she saw. We the viewer don't know what she said though. Once the cult is gathered to hear what was said, the old lady sequesters herself away and shoots herself before telling anyone.

In the annals of pure nihilism, that ending has got to be close to the top. We've experienced true horror for this lead character. Horror that is not fake, not in her mind, not supernatural. Things that are actually occurring with the whole point being that she will hit a point of transcending the pain and suffering and basically see god, or something on the other side. But the down side to that is that since she is not dead, she comes back. She is stuck in the state of horror and disrepair these people have put her in to get her to that point. She seems to not be suffering after her Martyrdom, but who is to say that will last? The ultimate irony is that it really was for naught as the leader of the cult became selfish and capped herself once she had the knowledge of what awaited her. This girl's suffering was meaningless and just a tool. Every one's suffering was meaningless and just a tool to her own salvation.

Now apply that to just about any religion that has martyrdom as part of their doctrine...

Not an easy film to embrace. Not an easy film to watch or even like at times. But the more I think about it, the more brilliant it becomes.

Naturally Hollywood is remaking it. I simply cannot see how they can do this. Even if I was okay with the idea, and I am NOT, I cannot see how the story can be pared down, sanitized, and made user friendly for US audiences. But then again FUNNY GAMES was remade pretty much frame for frame, so I guess anything is possible.



Andy Copp

Denmark is a Classy Place

Sexual Freedom In Denmark (1970) *** - This new DVD from After Hours Cinema finally releases one of the most famous of the 'white coat' porn documentaries from the era right before porn became legal. In the moment in time when this was made a filmmaker had to justify the sex on screen by surrounding it with social and scientific wraparounds to make it seem redeeming to the public. The term 'white coat' is from the fact that usually a faux scientist or doctor in a white coat appears on screen rattling off factoids to support the sex. This film doesn't have a doctor. Instead we get an intrepid reporter on assignment in Denmark circa 1969 when all pornography was legalized. All pornography. He goes about asking people how they feel about the proliferation of pornography and most seem to think it is a good thing. He goes on to ask a teen age girl about her sexual practices, her opinions on birth control and finally porn. Her answers show a positive, well adjusted attitude to all things sexual. He then visits the set of a porno film with a gaggle of giggling females. he breifly talks to the director, weilding a microphone that looks more like a giant food mixer. he finally gets to talk to the naked girls about there relationships, how old they where when they started having sex, if they make a living with the work and if they think that pornography is okay. Once again the attitude is pretty positive. A different narrator gives us factoids claiming that since the ban on porn was lifted sexual crime has lowered by 25% in Denmark. He also says that most of the sales of sexual materials now go to the tourist trade. Cut to a woman in a sex shop putting away a penis enlarger and gigantic fake vagina. The rest of the movie movie is mainly dealing with other forms of sexuality such as nudism or strip joints. I.E. excuses to show big tit gals shaking their stuff. There is a bit on hippie body painting that has some gorgeous busty girls that will knock your socks off. Then about two thirds of the way through it flies full throttle into mondo film territory as it focuses on the body, reproduction and disease. A close up of a syphilis ridden penis is sure to sober you up fast. A run down of the male and female anotomy/physiology includes so many micro close ups of both sets of genitals that it becomes almost like surgery. Though the gal doing her Kegal exercises is pretty fascinating to watch. Then the last ten minutes become the only real pornographic content in the movie was it becomes an 'marriage manual' on different positions that a couple can have sex in. this segment isn't really erotic, But it IS really informative. Especially the information about having sex while pregnant. Oh yeah there is some startling footage of births, including a breech birth, that could be a bit much for wimps and expectant moms. The last image is beautifully enough, Uschi Digart and her fabulous bosoms. Though this functioned as pornography upon its release in 1970, iti s really much more of a Mondo/Documentary style sideways look at sex with a very little titilation thrown in. It sits nicely along side something like Mondo Cane more so than say Deep Throat. the new DVD looks great, with the print being extrordinarly clean and blemish free. After Hours finally did what fans have been asking by putting an original aspect ration 1.33 edition on disc #1 and the reformatted 1.78 edition on disc 2. So you get a choice instead of cropping like in some instances. There is a second feature from the same director, John Lamb, called Sexual Liberty Now which mainly focuses on the government's investigation into pornography. but I need to watch it still. A really nice disc of an interesting time capsule. First time seeing this.

There used to be a trailer for this on You Tube, but SURPRISE it is gone now.

Some older reviews

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Surviving Edged Weapons

Surviving Edged Weapons (198?)
D. Dennis Anderson
????


Downloaded this off of Cinemageddon recently and what a great discovery it was.

This is a police training tape from Wisconsin on how to properly prepare and survive when criminals attack police officers with knives, machetes, swords and other bladed weapons. While there is some mondo footage of crime scene photos scattered throughout, the name of the game here is dramatic recreations. And boy are these AWESOME! It seems to me that someone on the police force really wanted to be an action filmmakers and just could give two shits about making a training tape as these things are just out of control, action packed over the top gore vignettes. This out of control hilarity starts with two cavemen fighting over some roasted rabbit. But one of them tricks the other one and pulls out a stone age knife and stabs the shit out of the other guy, thus showing that people have had the urge to cut the hell out of each other since the beginning of time. This 2001 epic opening sets the tone for this no budged nonsense. For the first maybe two thirds of the tape they at least have something to do with the material as the narrator will discuss a certain type of knife attack and we will see it go inevitably wrong and see the cop get slashed, gored, or run through complete with gushing and spraying blood and 70's styled freeze frames. A fantastic early scene has a detective go to a dues house and announce at the door that the cops are there an dhe needs to come out. Inside the guy is sitting alone, clearly disturbed. In the background by the door is a HUGE broadsword that would be at home in a CONAN movie. Before the cop can pipe up again the dude cracks the door and impales the detective on the sword, removes it and closes the door again. Awesome. As to be expected 90% of all the "criminals" on display are minorities I.E. African American's and Latin Americans just waiting to shank a cop at any given moment. And the couple of white guys are naturally hell's angels or drunken homeless. In fact the Hell's Angel has the most ingenious hidden knife I have seen in ages by having a concealed blade attached tot eh INSIDE of his gas cap on his motorcycle. If I ever hit my midlife crisis and get a bike, I'm sure as hell getting one of these for protection! By the last reel this thing has gone totally bonkers by having a shootout in a Latino drug bar that looks like they were trying to out do Walter Hill. Seriously the scene looks like an outtake of EXTREME PREJUDICE except without the skill, and has fuck all to do with surviving bladed weapons. They clearly just wanted to shoot a big gun fight with whores in tight dresses and squibs.

If all this wasn't enough you get tearful recantations of actual cops telling the terrifying stories of the various knife attacks they encountered on the job, including the one officers who got stabbed multiple times and punctures a lung, the female cop who got both of her arms cut so bad she almost lost both of them and the main cop who almost got his face literally carved off. you'll be asking yourself the whole time, where the fuck were their partners when they were getting craved up? The main badass got has the best lines when he says things like "I'm not gonna die in some god damned ghetto!"

Plus most of the criminals in the re-enactments have Canadian accents!


This one is a winner folks!

someone on You tube beat me to the punch and made a pretty sweet music video of the best scenes. Check it out. Before the fuckers at you tube have it removed for having copyrighted music...



Andy Copp

Marilyn Chambers has weird Boobs

Angel of Heat (1983)
D. Merl A. Shreiberman

Full Frame DVD

This ridiculous starring vehicle for porn starlet Marilyn Chambers starts off promisingly enough. With ENTER THE DRAGON inspired opening credits that feature Chambers performing really shitty karate moves complete with the strobing effect from that classic. But since that clearly isn’t enough to hook an audience in they have Chambers go full frontal nude as well. Then add a weird effect that has her fade to sketches of herself periodically that have nothing to do with anything. I noticed right away that she has some odd looking tits. I dunno if she had some really early 70’s implants or just oddball boobs but they sit really far apart and seem rather hard. Like they don’t want to move from the perch on either side of her boney chest. Otherwise she’s an attractive lady. I’ve seen her in recent years at conventions and she still looks really good actually. Her new boob job is much nicer in fact.

The plot has her working for a secret agent cabal that does mop up missions for the US government that are so dangerous even they don’t want to know about them. Her group is called THE PROTECTORS and she is a perfect weapon, or so we are told. Mean while Mary Woronov and her goofy dude sidekick Stephen Johnson are assigned by another secret government agency to find out who is stealing high tech microchips and why. Woronov is a nymphomaniac who will bed down anyone and anything while Johnson is a goofy genius of the “aw shucks” variety. We get to see Chambers in action when she catches an intruder played by fellow porn star Randy West and proceeds to bang him. up until now the movie has been a little silly but relatively played straight. But suddenly it becomes a slapstick comedy with West badly dubbed with a Chinese accent AND subtitled in English with subs that don’t match what he is saying at all. It is a weird joke that really isn’t funny as much as it is disconcerting an disorienting. Plus my friends and I couldn’t figure out who he was and kept commenting on how he looked like Marjo Gortner.

Eventually our leads all separately end up on an island where a reclusive genius is working on some top secret scientific mumbo jumbo, More importantly he is the spitting image of a really strange dude who comes into my work, except this guy in the movie wears silk pants and a cape. though I could see the guy from work doing that too if people would let him. Johnson and Woronov go to a disco with the dudes stacked wife, but this disco has mud wrestling and naked dancing girls. Upstairs at the disco some sort of shenanigans are going on that we never actually see but hear about second hand that deal with blackmailing of employees to steal the microchips so dude with the cape can use them in his secret schemes to take over the world. Chambers tries to get into the club and has to get all hot with a midget who looks like Gary Busey and rides her like a pony (probably the movie’s highlight). She puts a Vulcan death grip on him and gets her info, which really isn’t anything at all. Eventually all the good guys end up working together and figure out the nutty cape man is creating androids (who love to have sex) to take over the world, and are controlled by sound. turns out his sexy wife is an android and she has fallen in love with Woronov after their heated round of mud wrestling at the disco. Lots of guys in thongs and speedos prance around as androids making my friend Mike really nervous and there is a lame climax with cheap ass melting robots and bad slapstick comedy.

Intentionally bad movies are a particularly painful breed. Bad because you have no money, or no talent, or no patience for the production are all fine and good. Bad just because things didn’t work out in your favor and the odds were against you is fine too. But bad because you set out to make a movie that is intentionally stupid to try to get laughs is often just insulting and irritating. ANGEL OF HEAT is one of those movies. Occasionally it is amusing, mostly when Mary Woronov is on screen since she is always fun to watch and gives her all. But this is such a threadbare and embarrassing production that to have it all be so purposely inane makes it feel like being in a room with a friend who wants to get on your nerves.

Weirdly enough the opening credits actually read ANGEL OF HEAT: THE PROTECTORS BOOK #1 so it looks like they were wanting to launch some sort of low budget comedy/ espionage series. Clearly that didn’t happen. If they had played it more straight and went for a more action/exploitation feel ala Andy Sidaris they could have been onto something. But it missed the boat.

It isn't a kids movie!

WATCHMEN (2009)
D. Zack Snyder
Warner Brothers
2.35

Could it be done is what the comic fans were asking? Could anyone pull off making a film of the classic comics of WATCHMEN? Many that who have read the comics thought that the material was simply unfilmable. In many ways they were right the complexity of the material, married with the high number of characters and back story made this something that one single movie would be extremely difficult to make happen. A mini series for HBO might have been better. But to my shock and surprise "visionary" (more on that later) director Zack Snyder has done the unthinkable. He made a Watchmen movie, and it is faithful. And not only faithful it is really, really fucking good.

Though it seems very few people have noticed. If there ever was a movie that people had their knives out for it was this one. The comic fans were split between those who were excited to see their beloved book coming to the screen and those who were mortified to see the holy tome being butchered by Hollywood. Then there is the mainstream movie goer who is not accustomed to something of this scope and depth. They want explosions every five minutes, they want rapid fire MTV style montages and hot guys with their shirts off prancing around to get jobs modeling underwear. Instead they get a movie where the first hour or so is just extended flashbacks explaining who the characters are and their motivations. A rich tapestry of character motivations, mixed with a new alternate history in which the film takes place. All of which is confusing to people not willing to put forth just a little work to follow it. People whose brains flunk out if there isn't something "happening" every thirty seconds. Then you have the angry parents. The dimwits who are pissed and screaming because this ISN'T for kids. No fucking shit. Why'd you bring 'em in the first place. The film is clearly rated R, the trailers were pretty dark and clearly showed a film that was not going to be compromising. Reviews stated all over that the film was filled with graphic violence, nudity etc. But still numb skull parents brought kids because they saw superheros in the commercials and the ads. That's all they needed to know. Superhero's. That's it. So basically you've ended up with a movie that will please almost no one at the end of the day. A movie that many people had decided before ever seeing it that it was a bombastic piece of shit. A lot of that came from the advertising claiming that director Zach Snyder is a "visionary" only after directing two films, one of which sucked balls (DAWN OF THE DEAD) and one that was mediocre but entertaining (300). The genre fan community turned on this film because of that hype.

So the real sad story is that the film succeeds where everyone expected it to fail. Snyder manages to be incredibly faithful to the source material, right down to minute details in set designs and backgrounds. The casting of the film is so dead on that you feel like these were the characters you have been reading all these years. Especially Jackie Earl Hailey as Rorschach who almost steals the movie and Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian who is completely dead on. Big props to Billy Crudup too who manages to do a lot with his voice, since even his eyes are covered in make up, and make Dr. Manhattan feel very real. At the end of the day this is a character piece and if the the actors weren't top notch then it wouldn't work. But that is not the case here and it works beautifully. There is no camp in the performances, everything is played straight and to the bone making it feel lively and real.

A lot of people have shit on Zack Snyder's "style" saying it has ruined the movie but he actually has that reigned in very far in this film. Yes he uses a lot of slow motion throughout the film, which is now a trademark for him. But I would argue that slow motion intensifies a lot of the effect on screen, elongation sequences, so we fully catch what is happening. It also makes them feel more like experiencing a comic book panel in that we have time to absorb more of the information being presented on screen. Snyder's other "trademark" was shooting on green screen sets, which this movie has much less of than one would expect since it is set in the real world, though an alternate take on the real world. Instead there are some beautifully designed sets and the world designed here seems like a very concrete one. I've heard people bitch that Snyder used to much voice over narration, but that is right out of the comics, almost word for word in fact. I would argue that Snyder actually earns his "visionary" status with this film in the opening credits sequence which manages to run us through both the alternate history of America we are experiencing as well as the history of Superheroes and Watchmen. It is a brilliant sequence that divulges a tremendous among of information but does it stylishly and in a captivating way.

Not everything is perfect in the film. The music choices are clumsy and sometimes downright wrong. During a brutal Vietnam sequence where Dr. Manhattan and The Comedian are ruthlessly slaughtering people in the name of God and Country the musical choice is Ride of the Valkyries which sounds great on paper, but in the film it doesn't work. The piece is much too majestic and proud to fit the carnage of the scene. Something much darker was needed. Also there is a scene of Night Owl and The Comedian descending into a mob to break it up and The Comedian snaps and begins hurting people, shooting them etc. Another ins tense sequence. But the choice of music this time is "I'm your Bogey man" which sounds like it should fit because of the action on screen. But it doesn't. At all. Instead it contrasts the action to the point of distraction. Also during the final confrontation when the Night Owl and Rorschach have figured out what has gone down their big plan is to jump in and take on the "villain" in a fight when they know just how capable he is. Especially considering both of them are basically mortal guys, that seems rather foolish no matter how badass they are. I also was a little taken a back by how brutal The Comedian's attempted Rape of Sally Jupiter was. In the comic it is unpleasant and brutal, but in the movie it is even more ramped up and violent with her getting the living shit beat out of her on top everything. The problem this poses is that it makes other turns of the story even harder to accept and deal with, where as in the comic they were difficult, here they are much, much harder to believe. But all of this is minor quibbles for a film that seeks to do more than any blockbuster does. This is a film that challenges on many levels, brings up issues of social consciousness, parodies the virulence of both superheros and the pro war idiocy of the 80's (and last 8 years for that matter). It questions if peace is really even possible and at what cost. And most importantly it assassinates our preconceived notions of how we have been trained to accept movies should work and behave. For that it is an important film, and therefor doomed for failure.

And that's why I love it.

Be careful who you invite

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008)
D. Thomas Alfredson
Magnolia Pictures
2.35

This subdued, quiet and haunting little vampire drama from Sweden has managed to cause quite a stir in the horror movie circles. Which is surprising considering how dumbed down the modern horror movie has become with all the remakes and exercises in extreme gore. The very fact that something this reliant on mood, atmosphere and tension would get noticed at all is no mean feat. Much less get international attention (unfortunately that means it is on the remake block for 2010, but I somehow think that will not come to pass).

The story deals with a 12 year old boy named Oskar who lives in Blackeberg, Sweden. He is not unlike a lot of boys his age, quite, reserved, backward, too smart for his own age. And because of all of this is, he is picked on by the school yard bully and his group of thugs. When we first meet Oskar he is alone in his room brandishing a haunting knife fantasising about how he will get his revenge and humiliate his tormentors. He sees his new neighbors moving in outside his window. A dark haired young girl about his age and presumably her father. It is not long before this lonely boy has met the girl who at first doesn't want to be friends with him. Her name is Eli and she's quite peculiar, not wearing a coat or gloves while outside, saying she has forgotten how to be cold. Eventually they bond over a rubic's cube because she seems to love puzzles and cautiously become friends.

Meanwhile her guardian, the man living in the house is murdering people. He kidnaps a teenager and butchers him in the woods, draining his blood into a large bottle but is almost caught when an inquisitive dog spots him and the owners are not far behind. Turns out he was gathering the blood for Eli and though it is not really spoken, it is made clear that she is a vampire.

But Oskar not a complete innocent either. He keeps a scrapbook of newspaper clippings of stories dealing with murders. It seems to be one of the few things that bring him joy in his life. He is far too obsessed with the idea of revenge and his hunting knife. Eli sees this in him and urges him to fight back with the bullies at school, to not let them humiliate him any longer. She also tells him that if he fights back and they progress further that she will be there to help him.

From here the movie becomes rather complicated with various murderous attacks being carried out to keep Eli alive. While these are very important to the plot construction of the film, the meat of the story is the blossoming relationship between the two youngsters. This is a story of two very lost souls who through the most obscene odds find each other. It is clear the Oskar is not at home in his own skin no matter who he is with, save maybe his Father from whom his Mother is separated. BUt even there tension arrives from a male friend (whom I got the feeling was more than just a friend to his Father) that upsets that balance. Eli is a true lost soul, the only person she has in life is her keeper, whom clearly she had a relationship with at one point but he has grown old and she has not. Once he has passed on she is left alone to fend for herself. So it becomes her and Oskar against the world.

The films most touching (and in western eyes maybe most troubling) moment comes after Eli has lost her Keeper/Father figure. She shows up at Oskar's window in the middle of the night. She makes it clear that she has to be invited in (remember vampire's cannot enter anywhere they are not invited). Once inside she strips down and climbs into bed with the sleepy boy cuddling up behind him. They talk about how she is so physically cold and does he think that is weird. He asks her to go steady with him, but she doesn't understand the term. So he explains to be his girlfriend, but she wants things to stay the same between them, she tell shim she is not a girl, but Oskar doesn't care. She agrees and they hold hands and fall asleep together. The seen is bittersweet because what lonely young boy hasn't dreamed of the girl whom he trusted/loved the most showing up at his window to hold him into the night? But it is creepy too because we know what she is and what she is capable of, though she clearly seems to not have any intentions of hurting Oskar. Then there is the unspoken child sexuality issue. We never see any nudity and there is no sex going on, but the fact that it is two kids cuddled together in bed, one of them completely nude, that makes people uncomfortable. Add to that the fact Eli's character is probably much, much older mentally and it becomes very weird indeed.

The movie moves into full blown horror territory in the last third or so with some other characters becoming vampires, a little bit more bloodshed and a revenge fueled finale that I'm not entirely sure I liked or not. This is a movie that worked best in the quiet moments between the kids as they try to figure out the danger between them, the new found feelings, the subtle eroticism an all that comes with it. How they try to reconcile that both of them have the capability to commit murder, only one of them has to do it to survive.

Let The Right One In is a strange little film, full of more questions than answers. Beautifully shot, lit and acted. For those looking for something different, this should hit the spot.

SPOILER
There is a shot in the movie that I'm not quite sure I understood. When Oskar spots Eli undressing he sees her nude pubic area and running across it is a large scar. Throughout the movie she keeps telling him she is "not a Girl" but I took that to mean she is a vampire. But after this shot I wonder if there is more to it than that? Anyone else got some clues or info?

Oh man, not the BABIES!!!

FETUS (2008)
D. Brian Paulin
Morbid Vision Films
DV

Brian Paulin is the Nordic rock God of the underground Gore film scene. This mother has done it all and lived to tell about it. Survived shoddy distributors, done dangerous car and fire stunts, done his own effects, piled mouthfuls of worms and maggots, and even starred in all his own flicks. But even more importantly he has the ability to fly and battle vampire with a two gun salute ala John Woo (AT DAWN THEY WAKE), and take on the undead (BONE SICKNESS) and teach Misty Mundea to kick Mummy Ass (MUMMY RAIDER). He's fuckin supernatural man! The only thing left for him to kick ass on the children. And man if his new movie FETUS is anything to go by he must fucking hate kids!

FETUS is the underground gore movie taken to the extreme edge. Never for a second is it trying to be a "realistic" gore film like some of the faux snuff flicks out there. This is still supernatural horror flick stuff, but the gore quotient and violence so pumped up that only the most hardened gore fan will be able to take this on. The movie even opens with the tag "A Gore Film By Brian Paulin" to let you know what you are in for. The story deals with a man whose wife dies in childbirth (in a spectacularly bloody scene, with a guy playing a doctor that if he was my wife's Doctor I would have clearly went elsewhere!) It is very unclear if the baby survives or not. But our hero, played by the multi-faceted Paulin himself, is wracked with grief and horror. Once home he starts going a little crazy, seeing things and falling into a pit of despair and nightmares.

Before long he is calling on the occult in an attempt to bring his wife back from the dead and seek revenge on those he blames for her death. He buys a black magic grimiore and starts practicing the rituals and the explosion of violence begins. People start getting hacked with knives, axes and hammers. One poor slob gets his teeth knocked out and all the skin off his arm shaved off. Another guy pukes up his intestines (ala GATES OF HELL) and then his face explodes off! But he DOESN'T die! Paulin has to block his exposed windpipe and smother him before he will give up the ghost! There are decapitations, mutilations and a hallucination of a stacked naked girl shooting herself in the crotch. And it gets worse from there!

Once our hero realizes he has to inseminate a corpse for these spells to works, he kills a hot chick and humps her dead body. It gives him some sort of skeevy dick disease and his knob starts rotting off in graphic detail for the rest of the movie. I could recount the gore and horror of the rest of the film, but by know you probably know if it is for you or not. I will say by the end of the movie there is a black magick machine made out of severed baby heads, a snake/human demon and a rather ridiculous birth scene. This doesn't push the boundaries, it explodes them.

FETUS is a weird movie because there is almost no dialogue for most of the movie. Since Paulin is the main character and he is alone most of the time, he is silent and talking to no one. So the movie relies on visuals a lot which is interesting. The gore effects are really well executed and frankly better than the ones in BONE SICKNESS, but are lingered on too long and sometimes look just like what they are, effects. Then the acting is kinda what you expect form this low budget production. Mostly serviceable but there is a scene of a couple of guys talking outside there house, that get kidnapped and killed. The one black guy reminded me of Cleveland from Family Guy with his delivery.

The movie has a shitload of energy and is really short, moving at a nice clip. But at the end of the day it ends up trying so hard that it sometimes seems a bit absurd. Some of the scenes that are designed to shock and repulse end up being kind of funny because it is so over the top. But then that is Paulin's strong suit, he never stops without going full force. I respect that.

The DVD is available directly from Brian Paulin and his Morbid Vision Films Website. Please buy the film directly from him. He is taking a chance to self distribute and deserves the support. Also I have seen the movie on some torrent trackers that specialize in this type of movie and I think that's bullshit. This isn't some corporation that can recoup those losses, this is a truly independent filmmaker who is selling his films himself. Don't just snatch and grab his work.

WARNING ABOUT THE CLIP BELOW: Not only is this clip highly gory and disgusting, it contains major spoilers. But it is the only clip from the film I could find online. So watch at your own risk.