One of the best horror films of the year

DEADGIRL (2007)
D. Marcel Sarmiento & Gadi Harel
Dark Sky Films
2.35 DV

This extreme and intense indie flick is a caustic, smart and VERY disturbing sexual horror film that turns the zombie myths on its rotting head. The movie is deep with themes of gender roles, sexuality, sexual politics etc., but never gives easy answers to the very tough questions it raises. Taking typical teen roles that most are familiar with in horror and layering them with emotion and political discussion, Deadgirl stands well above the pack.

The movie starts out with pretty boy high-schooler Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) making pouty faces at raven haired beauty JoAnn (Candice Accola) until his trouble-making buddy J.T. (Noah Segan) convinces him to skip school with him. They cut out and talk about girls, sex and other normal teen boy talk until they get to an abandoned metal facility on the edge of town. After going inside and partying as much as two boys can, they explore and find a bound, nude, teenage girl, whom at first they think is dead. When she moves, they are shocked. Rickie's first reaction is to go to the cops, but J.T. has other plans when his libido takes over. The boys get into a scuffle and Rickie leaves his friend there to rape the girl. The next day Rickie confronts J.T. only to discover that J.T. has killed the girl, but she is not dead. J.T. kills the girl AGAIN to prove his point and she still doesn't die. The boys are now faced with having an undead sex slave who will be able to do anything that can be dreamed up, since she cannot fight back, and there is technically no accountability for their actions. Soon other teen boys come into the fray and things get even weirder.

Some may accuse the movie of being misogynistic because of the material, but it isn't really. It is a film ABOUT misogyny. A film about how boys (and men) objectify women as sex objects to the point that they become nothing but meatholes to be passed around for fun. The movie asks a lot of questions about how this can come to be: whether it is the nature of masculinity? Peer pressure? A bonding experience? Acting out of latent homosexuality? Trying to prove oneself? Or just emotional power-playing? Rickie is the only boy in the film who manages to withstand the elements, clearly having feelings for someone, but that presents its own set of complications.

Another interesting element to the film is the complete absences of parents in the film. We see Rickie's Mom's boyfriend twice, trying to give Rickie some advice on how to be a "Real Man", but we never see his mother at all. No other parents appear. This lack of parenting, or any other adults for that matter, shows the vacuum these kids live in, and what creates these kinds of attitudes and lost kids. Most, if not all of this can be attributed to Trent Haaga's brilliant script that refuses to answer the questions, or even better, gives you "rules" to go by. The girl is never even called a zombie in the movie, she just "is" with no explanation given. The script is all about character and the degeneration that they fall into. It should be mentioned that Trent Haaga also wrote the shot on video zombie movie FEEDING THE MASSES, and that some of the ideas that are presented here obviously got their start in that movie as well. Nowhere near as good, but some parallels are visible.

The film is very low budget, but is shot beautifully, directed really well by the duo of Marcel Sarmiento & Gadi Harel and edited great care. It only falls down slightly with some acting that is a little weak from a couple of newcomers that are clearly not quite seasoned enough for the tough material. The kids have been in some other films but usually in supporting roles, and at times here feel like they lose their feet on occasion. Especially Noah Segan as J.T. who slips into over the top mode now and again, trying to put on a country boy accent for some reason, as well.

Easily, this is one of the best horror films I have seen in a long time, indie or otherwise. It is doing a few select theatrical play dates around the country, midnights and such, so try to get your local art house to book it.

Seriously, The worst porn movie ever made...

THE WITCHES TAIL (199?)
D. By some Italian dudes who have no business making smut
Goulash Entertainment(!)
S.O.V.

The 90's were seriously the WORST decade for porn ever. The 70's were the tops with the porno chic, were people attempted real movies, had actual stars etc. The 80's got hit hard with The Meese Commission on pornography, and the intervention of the video market where porno basically stopped being "filmmaking" and started becoming a mass marketed commodity for people to peruse in their homes. Whatever story values, star system, etc the genre had was fast eroding by the 90's Add to that the addition of craptastic affordable videotape technology that everyone and their brother could get their hands on and the porn market went south in a hurry. Not that it was always great looking people doing wondrous things, but in the 90's even that became few and far between.

So when THE WITCHES TAIL got put in my hand my first reaction was, "oh boy, a porno from the 90's, this isn't gonna be good". My girlfriend's best friend's boyfriend had this laying around from a past relationship or some such confusing story or another (or something that sounds as good, that's my story and I'm sticking to it) so she passed if over to us. The cover had the typical 90's poofed hair broads in a lush green pasture, with a chick in a dime store Halloween Witch mask just like my friend would use in his backyard horror movies. The box promised an "all anal adventure" with lots of mysticism and sensuality. Somehow we knew better...

We got a kick out of the old 900 numbers with breathless narration about sucking cock and how they love to swallow cum, cut to video of girls who look like they not exactly enjoying said acts. But when the movie actually started we were shocked to discover that the flick was not in English. At all. This was an all Italian shot on video production that the American releasing company, one Goulash video, didn't bother to dub or subtitle! Now I would have been pissed if I had bought this as a consumer only to get it home to discover I had been duped into buying a movie with no English. The box was in English, the commercials before hand and the warnings were in English. Also the actual dub quality dropped a few generations as well with a huge tape crease through the picture. NOT on the actual tape, but apparently on the master tape, as it didn't appear on the 900 numbers commercials or Surgeon generals warnings, only when the actual movie started! This was bottom of the barrel stuff. At least the movie wasn't recorded in EP.

The movie starts with a huge boobed milkmaid making bread in a field (?) when a VERY middle aged man comes by on a horse. He dismounts the stead and starts mounting her nasty self. She had nice boobs but the rest of her was, well calling her skanky would be a compliment. She had one of my big porno pet peeves of several long painted fingernails and a bunch of broken/missing ones. I find this revolting to the point of wanting to puke, and simply do not understand it. You are going to act in a movie that requires you to look good. How freaking hard it is to go get that taken care of? And what porn movie director sucks so much he would allow his lead actress to look that nasty? Well a lot actually... But the dude is no better with his balding plate with a circumference of unwashed greasy hair and pony tail. It was fear of ending up with this exact hair style when I started losing my hair that made me start cutting all mine off. It is retarded looking and I seriously doubt any women (or gay dudes for that matter) find it hot, anywhere in the world. So they schtupp, it's unappealing and when you think it can't get worse her MOTHER comes out and joins them! Her boobs are alright too, but by god the rest of her is a horrific sight to see.

We were trying to be good and actually watch this sexual train wreck, but the fast forward got hit at this point. I could no longer deal with this undulating madness on screen. I stopped when a younger Blondie was bathing in a barrel in a yard somewhere. She whips out a full ear of corn and begins to rub her body with it. My girlfriend says "please god don't let her masturbate with the corn on the cob!" To which the woman on screen clearly is about to do. Then...CUT! There is an edit and the corn is gone and a super skinny girl, who looks like she just got done puking several weeks worth of lunches joins the lass in the barrel and they begin the most forced, unconvincing lesbian scene in cinema history. I'm pretty sure a mouth never touches a vagina. Then they head off into the old sandstone house to meet another sweaty guy who tries to hump and pump them both. I stress try because when ever it is his turn to climb onto the walking skeleton he instantly loses wood. Can't say I blame him, Wood was the furthest thing from my mind watching this travesty.

The fast forward came into play some more until we got to a couple of plump guys double teaming another gal on a dirt road at dusk. She had appeared to them as the Witch of the title but whipped off the mask to reveal the closest thing to an attractive woman in the film. She still had a belly of a woman who has had five kids and never recovered, but at this point one was grateful for small favors. Finally there was the promised anal adventure, as one of them plowed into her rectal highway. Both of the pudgemeisters cum and the movie is mercifully over.

We ended up having to dive into the ultra grimy world of the 70's storefront/grindhouse roughies just to cleanse our palettes after this mess. So lesson learned unless it is from Michael Ninn or Andrew Blake, porn from the 90's is to be avoided at all costs!!!

Headpress, What Happened to you?

HEADPRESS #28
www.headpress.com
ISBN13: 9781900486644

I've been a faithful reader of HEADPRESS since the days when it was just a magazine style publication. I think i came on board with issue #8 or #9. It has always been a favorite of mine and a breath of fresh air when a new issue came out. I've always felt it was worth the long wait for a new installment. But with issue #26 things started to change. The focus seemed to drift away from the long standing periodical of "Sex, religion and Death" to the new mantra of "The Gospel of Unpopular Culture" which seemed fine. A broader approach if you will. But that issue's broader approach seemed to be to just include more or what I would call travelogue pieces. Writers recollections of "wacky" episodes in their lives traveling in foreign lands of basically doing naughty things like getting high, having illicit sex and annoying the locals of said land. If you read one article, you basically read them all. With issue #27 long standing editor and creator David Kerekes, unwisely brought on board a co-conspirator (aka new money man)who further changed the focus of the magazine/imprint. Issue #27 was almost entirely made up of these kinds of article, this time written by the editors in an attempt to sound like some sort of modern Hunter S. Thompson. The design work on the issue was outstanding, but the content seriously lacked the insight and bite of any of the previous issues. to call it lightweight would be an understatment.

Which brings us to issue #28. The very first issue of Headpress I have ever put down in disgust. almost every single artilce in the issue is the fluff travelogue filler that has plagued the previous two issues. It's as if they cannot pay writers anymore so they are just jamming the issues with this tripe now. Vacations stories of the wacky financial man getting high in Amsterdam that have no conclusion whatsoever. Anything of worth is relegated to literally two page spreads while these other bits run on and on and on. The only article of interest is a longer bit on the blow job bars of Bangkok which would have been at home in the older issues.

Also the high quality of layout and design is gone this go round. A note on the first page claims a fire caused all the art to have been lost. Perhaps it is true, or perhaps it is a cost cutting measure and a cover story. Who knows?

It is a sad day for me, because this was seriously my favorite periodical in the entire world. Something I've cherished close to my heart and look forward to like a visit from an old friend. I really don't see me picking up this again in the current state. If you look back at the classic issue #22 "The Funhouse" issue and this one, it is hard to believe it was done by the same people.

Andy Copp

Denmark is a Classy Place

Sexual Freedom In Denmark (1970) *** - This new DVD from After Hours Cinema finally releases one of the most famous of the 'white coat' porn documentaries from the era right before porn became legal. In the moment in time when this was made a filmmaker had to justify the sex on screen by surrounding it with social and scientific wraparounds to make it seem redeeming to the public. The term 'white coat' is from the fact that usually a faux scientist or doctor in a white coat appears on screen rattling off factoids to support the sex. This film doesn't have a doctor. Instead we get an intrepid reporter on assignment in Denmark circa 1969 when all pornography was legalized. All pornography. He goes about asking people how they feel about the proliferation of pornography and most seem to think it is a good thing. He goes on to ask a teen age girl about her sexual practices, her opinions on birth control and finally porn. Her answers show a positive, well adjusted attitude to all things sexual. He then visits the set of a porno film with a gaggle of giggling females. he breifly talks to the director, weilding a microphone that looks more like a giant food mixer. he finally gets to talk to the naked girls about there relationships, how old they where when they started having sex, if they make a living with the work and if they think that pornography is okay. Once again the attitude is pretty positive. A different narrator gives us factoids claiming that since the ban on porn was lifted sexual crime has lowered by 25% in Denmark. He also says that most of the sales of sexual materials now go to the tourist trade. Cut to a woman in a sex shop putting away a penis enlarger and gigantic fake vagina. The rest of the movie movie is mainly dealing with other forms of sexuality such as nudism or strip joints. I.E. excuses to show big tit gals shaking their stuff. There is a bit on hippie body painting that has some gorgeous busty girls that will knock your socks off. Then about two thirds of the way through it flies full throttle into mondo film territory as it focuses on the body, reproduction and disease. A close up of a syphilis ridden penis is sure to sober you up fast. A run down of the male and female anotomy/physiology includes so many micro close ups of both sets of genitals that it becomes almost like surgery. Though the gal doing her Kegal exercises is pretty fascinating to watch. Then the last ten minutes become the only real pornographic content in the movie was it becomes an 'marriage manual' on different positions that a couple can have sex in. this segment isn't really erotic, But it IS really informative. Especially the information about having sex while pregnant. Oh yeah there is some startling footage of births, including a breech birth, that could be a bit much for wimps and expectant moms. The last image is beautifully enough, Uschi Digart and her fabulous bosoms. Though this functioned as pornography upon its release in 1970, iti s really much more of a Mondo/Documentary style sideways look at sex with a very little titilation thrown in. It sits nicely along side something like Mondo Cane more so than say Deep Throat. the new DVD looks great, with the print being extrordinarly clean and blemish free. After Hours finally did what fans have been asking by putting an original aspect ration 1.33 edition on disc #1 and the reformatted 1.78 edition on disc 2. So you get a choice instead of cropping like in some instances. There is a second feature from the same director, John Lamb, called Sexual Liberty Now which mainly focuses on the government's investigation into pornography. but I need to watch it still. A really nice disc of an interesting time capsule. First time seeing this.

There used to be a trailer for this on You Tube, but SURPRISE it is gone now.