You thought local cops were hardcore: LIVE LIKE A COP DIE LIKE A MAN

LIVE LIKE A COP DIE LIKE A MAN (1976)
D. RUGGERO DEODATO
RARO VIDEOLTBX ANAMORPHIC DVD

Ruggero's Deodato's sophomore film after the softcore sex film WAVE OF LUST was this hard as nails, almost fascist, Italian Police action film that holds the place card for being one of, if not THE most violent of that sub-genre. The Italian "Polizia" film was a popular sub-genre of the thriller that ran through the 70's with certain directors excelling at them. Writer Fernando Di Leo often wrote many of the era's crime pictures, and his name is on the screenplay for this one as well. Themes of corruption, street violence, and the Police having to be as bad as the criminals run through these films. LIVE LIKE A COP DIE LIKE A MAN takes these themes to such a hyper violent, almost absurd level that it almost has to be parody. But anyone familiar with the violent excesses of Ruggero Deodato's other films will quickly realize it probably isn't. He is just a director that likes to go over the top. He may very well have his political themes and concerns, but at the end of the day, he feels everything has to be turned up to eleven.

Ray Lovelock and Marc Porel star as Ray and Tony two off the cuff Italian cops who make up the "special forces" for the Rome police. Seems being the "special forces" in Rome equates to having a license to kill, beat up and maim whomever you may need to for any case at any time. The movie opens with a seriously impressive motorcycle chase when two scum bags snatch a lady's purse and drag her a half block, smashing her into a fire hydrant in the process. Our heroes see it happen and go after the thugs. It is important to mention the two of them seem to just cruise around together on a motorcycle with no where really to go irregardless if they are on duty or off. They may not be portrayed as gay, but bunked up on the motorcycle together holding each other tight, they certainly look that way more than once. The chase ends shockingly with the thugs wrecking into an open truck, one of them impaled on the handlebars and the other once bleeding internally. To which Ray viciously snaps his neck. When our dudes are walking away from the scene one asks the other "Did yours die on his own? I had to help mine along!"

From here they set out to find a local gangster and to do so they decide to flush him out by setting fire to all the fancy cars in the lot of one of his clubs. So they burn all the Rolls Royce and other big shot cars, as well as the night watchmen working there! Later in the movie Ray is shocked to find out the cars were not insured and feels a pang of remorse for burning the automobiles!!! They slap around the Mafia guys big tit sister and take turns fucking her since she is a nymphomaniac (In real life this actress was the sister of Ruggero's wife, so there is a little bit of weirdness there. Ruggero's wife plays the sexy Secretary the guys keep trying to seduce with no success because she is too smart and liberated to fall for their horseshit!).

The duo also break up a hostage situation,and stop a robbery, both by sneaking in and literally cold blooded shooting everyone involved, one by loading up silencers and sneaking onto the scene and wiping everyone out. Their boss constantly treats them like they are overzealous kids, not the murderous psychopaths they clearly are.

The movie walks a fine line between being a straight out action film, a piece of right wing propaganda, and some sort of weird violent parody/ fantasy. It works best when looked at in the last category as a berserk parody of Italian action and cop films where things are never what they should be. Instead they are way more violent and insane. The only movie in this realm that compares is LUCIO FULCI's equally over the top CONTRABAND (1981).But that film plays it straight as a gangster picture. This thing is like a hyper violent cartoon satirizing the cop genre.

Interestingly enough this is one of the best looking productions I have seen from Deodato. Slickly directed with great actions scenes and just great, knock about moments. While his horror films are well regarded sometimes his stuff can feel cheap (THE BARBARIANS, DIAL HELP, THE WASHING MACHINE) but this consistently feels like a top notch production and is well worth checking out.

The new RARO DVD has trailers and a 42 minute documentary about the making of the film with interviews with most of the surviving key players in which they all reminisce about the making of the film, the apparently made up on set controversy between the lead actors, and yes, how it was supposed to be a serious action film.

Review © Andrew Copp

Italian Alien Rip Off From The Deep or Deep Eco Message Film?

ALIEN FROM THE DEEP (1989)
D.Antonio Margheriti (Anthony Dawson)
One 7 Movies
Full Frame 1:33
92 Minutes


This Italian genre mish-mash is basically advertised in the artwork as an ALIENS rip off, but it is actually just barely that, yet in reality is so, so much more. A Johnny come late in the Alien falls to Earth sub-genre by 1989, with by that year what would be primitive special effects, this movie has a whole lot to love. It it had been made even ten years earlier I could imagine it playing drive-in double bills, or urban theater afternoon matinees for quite some time. This is the exact kind of movie I used to sit glued to cable TV mid-day and watch while playing with my toys as a kid. Movies like SPACE RAIDERS, YOR THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE (also directed by Margheriti) or Luigi Cozzi’s really shitty, but terribly entertaining HERCULES movies. If I had seen ALIEN FROM THE DEEP at ten years old it would have been on of my favorite movies of that year. But by 1989 I was about to enter college. I was well aware of so bad their good movies and would have loved it for different reasons.

"Maam I resent you saying I dress like Wil Wheaton. You need to put some clothes on before I throw you off my boat!"

Pretty Marina Giulia Cavalli stars as Jane a Greenpeace investigator heading to a remote island in tow with her lovelorn and trusty cameraman Lee (Robert Marius) (who only shoots with a VHS camera!) to look for the shady doings of corporate criminals E-Chem headed by baddy Charles Napier. Turns out these dunderheads have been dumping all their toxic waste into the local, very active volcano! Along the way they meet some local witch doctors and have some various jungle adventures. In fact the whole first half of the movie is an action/adventure movie about this couple trying to get the goods on E-Chem and evading capture. I kept checking the dvd box and wondering if I had been misled about this whole Alien/monster business.

"Goddammit! I used to work for Russ Meyer! I was around titties til Tuesday! How'd I end up on this helicopter with you?!"

Not that it isn’t entertaining and well handled. It all has a sort of ROMANCING THE STONE vibe going on as Jane meets Bob (Daniel Bosch) the local snake wrangle (wink wink!) who helps her out of a jam and into his heart. He gets a glimpse of her in his shirt after a shower and he is sucked into her whole scheme. Even the fact he keeps a pet cobra that roams free in his pad, doesn’t deter her from his wiley ways either. They play house while her friend Lee is being tortured for information by those evil E-Chem bastards!

"He's the "snakecharmer" hardy har har..."

Then finally about the 50 minute mark a meteor falls into the lake by the volcano and a monster crawls out into the water. The E-Chem scientist a kindly old man named Dr. Geoffries (Alan Collins) explains it came from space attracted to the power of the toxic waste and is using it to gain power and grow! See the movie threw you a curve ball! You thought some monster was going to be born out of the volcano or some prehistoric dinosaur or something! Nope! it came from space to stomp their asses! From here it gets right down to it, biting the head off a diver and burrowing into the ground heading towards the factory.


Jane and Bob are heading back to the factory because Lee hid a VHS tape of the toxic dumping there as well, so all is on a collision course for CRAZY! The creature is stopping along the way to pinch people in half with the giant claw or melt their face off with his radioactive touch, or slimy residue. All we see of the big guy for the most part is that big ass lobster claw bursting out of the ground or through walls until the big finale when he stands upright. He looks like a two story bio-mechanical car engine with lobster claws mixed with a transformer toy. Which is to say he looks FUCKING AWESOME. 

"Beat this shit Michael Bay!!!"

A couple of other highlights include a character having his leg melted by radioactive goo while he still walks around, Dr. Geoffries running around with a huge retrofitted flame thrower, and best of all Jane having to be “decontaminated” from the monster goo, which means she ends up in a wet T-shirt and underwear for the entire climax of the movie. That’s some good thinking Right there. The effects are of the old school blowing up miniatures variety. Which adds a real charm to the proceedings as well.

For all the shooting and monster chomping and some splatter action, the movie is surprisingly non-offensive. The gore is not really lingered on, and there is no sex or nudity (wet T-shirt not withstanding). Only the occasional F-bombs really land this with the R-rating. Hell if I had kids I’d probably let them watch it. Like I said, if I saw this when I was ten years old I’d have loved this. 

"Apparently the monster farts glass."

The DVD is sparse on extras, only a “image gallery” that is images from the actual film, and a grainy ass many generation away copy of the Italian credits sequence. I would have loved some interviews or even just a trailer. This is a full frame presentation but it seems like it may have been shot that way as it never feels like the frame is tight or missing information. 


Overall quite and enjoyable pulp sci-fi flick that I feel no shame in recommending to fellow aficionados of this sort of thing. 

Review © Andy Copp

In the future George Eastman loves Cornhole...

 Day fifteen of the September Exploitation challenge takes us into the distant FUTURE!

THE NEW BARBARIANS (1982) aka WARRIORS OF THE WASTELAND
D. Enzo Castellari
Media Blasters
2.35

In the future Nuclear war will ravage and scorch the Earth leaving nothing in the wake but roving packs of marauders who want nothing more than to continue killing each other. Oddly enough these gangs will have mastered the ability to make vacuformed plastic into everything they need from space age costumes to gigantic bubbles for their neato vehicles. They will also have worked out how to turn everyday guns into laser shooting death rays and explosive devices that blow people’s chest cavities out upon impact. In this chaos is a group who have christined themselves The Templar's, but really have no inkling of anything to do with that historic Christian sect of Knights. This group of villains are run by one George Eastman who calls himself “One” and really all they want to do is kill everyone. 

"Come to me and touch my stylish hair..."

But one man stands in their way. One man who drives a souped up muscle car (with a giant plastic dome on top) outfitted with missiles and machine guns. This man’s name is Scorpion (Giancarlo Prete), and he looks like he just stepped out of a East side beauty shop from getting his hair done. Seems he and One have some bad blood when he beat One at a duel some odd years ago and this has effected One’s ego and leadership abilities ever since. Scorpion stops these bad boys from roughing up a poofy haired babe in leather leggings named Alma (Anna Kanakis). He shows her his sensitive side by not raping her and she falls for the big lug. So they do it in a blow up tent on the side of the road. Even in the wasteland her make up stays perfect. 

"Well, as long as you are not going to rape me, I guess you are an alright guy..."

Eventually One’s men decide they are tired of Scorpion banging the only chick left in the world, thus taking One’s attention away from them. So they set out to kick Scorpion's ass and take over the group. Enter Fred Williamson as Nadir. Don’t ask me why the only black dude in the Future, (hell the whole world in this film) is named Nadir, seems a bit racist, but hey its the Hammer and he can take care of himself. He basically puts futuristic foot to ass on these guys by saving Scorpion's butt. He has a bow and arrow with super explosive tips that when they hit the target blow their heads clean off. Naturally Scorpion tells him he could have handled it all on his own. I guess AFTER he got his ass kicked. They find a camp of, get this, Christians, who help them out and I was afraid this whole thing was going to turn into some sort of bible thumbing bullshit parable. Instead The Hammer beds down a hot ass sister, and then he and Scorpion leave so the bad guys can just come in and start wiping people out!

"Anna, I am really not so sure about this Hammer guy. He keeps upstaging my manliness at every turn..."

Naturally, cause Scorpion is a poofy haired wimp, and his buddy isn’t there to protect him, he gets captured. His punishment by the almighty One is to become a Templar before he is killed. But I guess old One is harboring some latent feelings for our hero because his initiation to the tribe involves something that took me entirely by surprise. It is a rare movie where the bad guy butt-fucks the hero when he has captured him. Some action films just hint at the whole homosexual subtext, but here they just went, “oh the hell with it. Just have big mean ol’ George Eastman ramrod that pretty boy and get it over with!”.  And who saves our hero? That’s right. Nadir, or The Hammer or however you want to call Fred Williamson. 

"Yes, it is Bob from HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY. Be afraid..."

Did I mention that little obnoxious brat from HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY is in this too. He plays basically the Murdock character from A-TEAM but as a little kid and has a slingshot that can kill people. Actually he is not nearly as obnoxious here as he usually is in Fulci’s movies, which leads me to believe Fulci either hated him, or kids in general. It all climaxes in a big crazy shootout, car crash, blow em up real good fight in an old oil refinery that is highlighted by our hero ripping off his clothes to reveal his nifty new suit of bullet proof armor. Made out of clear vacuform plastic that make shim look like one of the Village people on plastic and leather night at The Hellfire Club. Violence and hilarity ensue. 

"Yeah, it is EXACTLY what you think it is."

As goofy and funny as this often is, most of the action scenes are well done. Castellari really knew his shit when it came to handling action. It is just the wrongheaded production design that makes this movie such a hoot. Well that and some weirdo turns of the story, with a lead that would be more at home in gay porn. But these 80’s post apocalyptic ROAD WARRIOR rip offs are all a shit ton of fun and this is no exception. 

"George Eastman bids you all a farewell."

Review © Andy Copp

Day #15, It saturates the screen with TERROR!

Day #15 I spent in the Hotel in Strongville, Ohio for the ACM conference for my work. Ironically enough it is the exact same hotel that the Cinema Wasteland convention was held at two weeks earlier that I could not afford to attend for the first time in over five years! talk about irony hitting you in the balls. But I was not about to let my Halloween Horror Challenge slip past, so I took my buddy Bryan's portable DVD player with me and watched a couple of movies while I was there. First off was this Sergio Martino giallo classic.


TORSO (1971)
D. SERGIO MARTINO
BLUE UNDERGROUND
2.35

Incredibly stylish Giallo thriller that was clearly inspired by the world wide smash of Dario Argento's BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE just a little over a year previous. But where Argento's movie is very mechanical in its presentation (though artful in it's beauty) Martino sets out from the get go to infuse his film with as much sex and titillation as humanly possible. When the opening credits are running over shots of two teen lesbians lovingly groping each other as the shots shift in and out of focus, there is very little question about were the director's intentions lie. In the next ten minutes the viewer is blessed with more nipples through silk shirts, hookers doffing their tops, and bursting cleavage than most censorship boards would allow. By the time the first kill scene happens to a teen couple getting busy in the back of their car (eagle eyed viewers will notice this scene more or less recreated in Eli Roth's quite funny THANKSGIVING faux trailer in GRINDHOUSE) we've almost forgotten we are watching a thriller at all thanks to all the perfectly scooped boobs.Then an expertly timed and shot slash sequence jumps out and really grabs our senses, banging them into place. Soon this is followed by another young lady named Clair being stalked and killed after she breaks up with an older man she was having an affair with.

This is Clair. Italy eventually enacted laws about women being this hot.

In a fit of reckless depression, she leaves with the local dope heads a
nd almost ends up the centerpiece of their orgy, only to find herself wandering stoned into the swamp as she is stalked by a masked killer who eventually strangles and dismembers her. He takes a loving long time to of course admire her nude mud and blood flecked breasts, All the while having flashbacks to his youth and some weird incident involving poking the eyes out of a doll. The remaining four girls are naturally scared, so they head up to one of their uncle's cabins to get away. Add to that the local town obsessive-compulsive is stalking one of them and she wants away from him too. Unfortunately, the town where the cabin is located is not unlike the town in DELIVERANCE: full of uneducated, sub-level humans who are all more than likely inbred on purpose, The towns folk talk endlessly about fucking the four girls, making us fear a gang rape might be coming any minute, Thankfully that is avoided, because the actual killer arrives and does some cleaning up of his own at the villa. Seems he doesn't like lesbians much at all, Which leads to the reveal of the killer that is not all that shocking, but still reasonably suspenseful. We also get to see the rest of that flashback that has a freaking hilarious shot of a little kid falling off a cliff.

Reaching for dolls in exchange to see down a girl's panties always leads to trouble. Kids, make note of this.

Okay, it's not supposed to be funny, but there's something seriously wrong with me. Hey, it's clearly a dummy that looks like a little kid with child like screams dubbed over it. It's a cheesy moment in an otherwise impeccably made film.

One of Giallo's most memorable killers.

The movie starts off really well with those two very effective back to back stalk and slash scenes that are more or less iconic. The woods/swamp scene is especially effective and gut churning stuff. Once we are up to the summer villa, things slow down considerably with some of the tighter writing from earlier becoming lax before becoming taut again with the final scenes with the killer, using the directorial flare that Martino has built from his years of making action oriented movies.

Suzy Kendall wonder's what she had for dinner that smells like that.

The cinematography in TORSO is stunning. Maybe not as acrobatic or eye assaulting as we have come to expect in some of the other Italian thrillers from the period, but aesthetically is very beautiful. With tight composition, and always creatively placed and framed. Not to mention incredible camera moves and fantastic editing. There is a lot of shifting focus and impressive depth of field work that reveals and hides details within a given shot.

Male models punch it up big time under the supervision of maestro Sergio Martino!

TORSO has a good reputation, but is not really mentioned in the same breath as some of Argento's or Fulci's work, which to me is a shame. In fact it is much, much better than the later era work of either of those great talents. It wipes the floor of anything Argento has produced since THE STENDHAL SYNDROME and most of Fulci's movies from the 90's. TORSO is a movie that deserves a much better place on the shelves of horror fans in my estimation.


Reviews © Andy Copp